Sun Worshippers

Today I had my twice yearly "body check" by my dermatologist. It's always traumatic and I never fail to hurt somewhere when I come home. If there hasn't been something burned off, then there has been something cut out and off. It's depressing. I find myself looking in the mirror every morning only to find another "thing" has popped up overnight. A few weeks ago it was a "thing" on my left cheek. My face is the worst. Today I had two places burned off on my face and I could have had several more, but, since they aren't "dangerous" I decided not to. My head hurt too much from the two done. Today was a total of only eight. Usually it's in the "teens". I also had a sun reaction on the back of my arms this time. That's a new one. I had several dresses ruined last year from the reaction of sunscreen chemicals with fabrics and iron in our water. So, my doctor gave me a few samples of a good old zinc oxide lotion that probably won't stain anything. I received the expected lecture on my face (I wear 50 spf) and on my arms (admittedly uncovered). She complimented me on my legs now a dead shade of white because they are always covered. From just 3 days of wearing sandals I have the beginnings of the white line, though, so I need to be more conscious of that. Why all this? Well, I am a prime candidate for melanoma. Melanoma kills people. It's one of the most dangerous forms of cancer. And if you have EVER been in a suntanning bed your chances of melanoma soar. If you have ever gotten a sunburn that blistered, your chances increase there also. If you are of northern European descent, with fair skin and blue eyes, then your chances increase again. So, since I've done everything I could to increase my chances, I visit the dermatologist regularly. So far I've had basal and squamous cell carcinomas that have been removed, but I've thus far been blessed not to have the dreaded melanoma. I keep praying I never do. Yet, a summer never comes that I don't wish for tanned legs and body. Being pasty white just doesn't seem "right" to me. I am to wear big, floppy hats, long sleeves and all the rest, but I HATE IT. Today in my "funk", I recalled my grandmother (who died when I was ten) telling me that only the less thans allowed their skins to be exposed to the sun. She worked out in the garden with long sleeves and a big old slatted bonnet. She was always commenting on my shorts and halters that I ran around in in the summer. I imagine she would have flipped if she'd lived to see me in my bikinis during my high school years sunbathing with baby oil and vinegar. I wonder what she would have thought of my many sunburns that resulted in blisters; sometimes as big as quarters? Because if you burn once, then you tan. I remember when I was sixteen or so I had spent the day at Old Hickory pool and had a date for the movies that night. I came home and showered and I well remember thinking I would die!! I put on a red peasant blouse and some shorts. I well remember being unable to wear a bra because it hurt too much. It wasn't too noticeable considering I weighed about 95 pounds. In the movies my date put his arm around me and I screamed because it hurt so bad to touch my shoulders. That is the kind of summer life I lived for many years. But, there is always pay day, some day and I am paying now. In reading the history of sunbathing I found that women didn't really start exposing their skin to the sun until the 1900s and it was considered in bad taste to do so until the 50s. So we have about 70 years of sun exposure that has been dangerous all along. So today I'm looking at stuff to wash my clothing in to to give it a high SPF (most shirts have an SPF of 5), hats that protect and all that stuff. I've told many young women to stay out of the tanning beds, but few are listening until they get to be my age. But the realities are frightening... The average American's risk of developing melanoma in his or her lifetime increased from one in 1,500 in 1930, to one in 250 in 1980 and one in 74 in 2000. That is significant to notice and many studies are indicating that tanning beds have a great deal to do with that increase from 1980 to 2000. MTV has been heavily criticized for the show Jersey Shore for it's glamorizing tanning beds. Tanning beds are the most dangerous things you can use, yet few people going on cruises or an early beach trip don't use them. So why this blog? Well, I'm sitting here with a headache from liquid nitrogen used to burn off sun damage on my scalp. I'm sitting here with loose clothing on because of the same burns on my shoulder, chest, leg and cheek. All because I don't want to develop one of the most difficult cancers to cure if it's found after Stage 1. So, I wrote this because it's heavily on my mind and because if just ONE person uses 30 spf sunscreen on their face and body or covers their bodies with more clothing because of this blog, then it's worth it. Don't sunbath. Don't get sunburned.

It's a Whole New Year! (soon anyway)

As I sit here with my "Mee-Mee's Sippy Cup" filled with something very sweet, I am reflecting on 2012 and days prior. It was ten years ago this past weekend that we signed the lease on our rental house and I moved back to Virginia from the wilds of western Maryland. Ten years. I have missed some of the interaction I had ten years ago. I miss Brenda Harvey at the Westmarva District Office. She was and still is a great friend. I miss the Amish friends we had there, especially the Alfred Yoder family that I understand have now moved on to Ohio. I miss some of the Yahoo Groups I was involved with back then too. There was one called, "The Way" and someone on that group made us all ornaments for our Christmas trees. I still hang those eggshells on my tree every year. Other Yahoo Groups helped me to grow in my faith and I miss them more than they can know. I tried other groups over the last years, but none stand in the shadow of those of the early years of internet. But, today, hubby and I spent some quality time together and talked about how this was "home" and the best place and most homey place "I" have lived in my adult life. Hubby agreed that this is just a tad above West Virginia where he was very happy. Putting the Mt. Pleasant area the best place ever. Without Carol B. I would have been miserable in WV I think. He says, I wasn't the same after the "break up" between us and another family, and was ready to leave WV after that. He is right. So that means these last ten years have been some of the most meaningful in my Christian life. Wow! Not sure what all that means. HAHA~ Either I was very, very pitiful, or this is really a great place. LOL! Well, let's review these last ten years. In the last ten years I have lived in four houses. My youngest son has married and my oldest has had another child, as has our youngest daughter. Number five is on the way. Imagine... me a grandmother of five. In ten years I have lost most of the pigment in my hair. It is now more gray than brown. I have also developed wonderful "Hillary Clinton" jowls. That I could do without. In the last ten years I have reconnected with the old home town that I left nearly forty years ago and people I left there. I lost a very close friend to the "Big C" which still has my head spinning. She was ten years younger than I and I miss her like a part of me was cut out. I know she is waiting by "the River" for me. She promised. After 15 years of "no jewelry", I put my wedding ring back on and added Mom's rings and a ring of remembrance of my dear buddy Katie Dunkard :) Mom went home to Heaven. I still miss her and think to call her every now and then. Her leaving us changed the very center of our lives. I also have made a number of trips to Haiti in the last ten years. And I am ordained in the COB and serve the church as Henry's associate. That's an accomplishment. So much has changed. What hasn't? Well, I still wear the covering and while I don't wear cape dresses much anymore, I still dress pretty plain. I am still opinionated and love to laugh! That much will probably never change. So, what now? Well, 2013 looms withing the next 7 hours or so. Who knows what the year will bring? We leave for another trip to Haiti in just 14 days and some hours. And then the list gets long as the usual stuff continues. In August things may change drastically for this house. It will, once again, brighten with the laughter of another baby. My thoughts are quite occupied these days with the thought of car seats and fairy tales. I already have an ABC book in my Amazon wishlist. I will no doubt drive my poor daughter in law crazy before August even arrives. She is a very private person, God bless her, and I'm a "shout it from the rooftops" kinda girl. It's just the excitement of it all. I love having grandchildren. I can look back and remember Luke's birth like it was yesterday. I have a strong feeling that this one will be similar. I hope poor Julie has a sympathy on her poor mother and me. So, yes, I look forward to 2013 as another chapter of life opens. My 58th year. We enter into year 11 at Mt. Pleasant. Probably the longest pastorate they have ever had. That makes me smile. Those people at Mt. P drive us crazy from time to time, but yet we love them like family... which they are... warts and all. Because, really, they (well most of them) love us, our warts and all too. Merry, happy, blessed and wonderful 2013 everyone!

Seasonal Frustration

Generally, I love the Advent Season. The smells, the looks, even the work sometimes. It's a season of giving and receiving. Sadly, it's become more about some expectation of "giving" that is giving ME heartburn. Most everyone that knows Henry and I know that we are pretty generous in our giving. Past experience has shown that you can't "out give" God. When there is a genuine need we are often among the first writing a check. But, lately it seems there are more "hands out" than "hands writing checks". Offerings are down. (I say "offerings" because few actually tithe.) Charities are having to tighten the belt a bit, some are even ready to shut their doors because giving is down so much. At the same time, regardless of what you read, the real estate market is in the toilet, food prices are rising, taxes are going to go up rapidly (big surprise there) ~ I could go on and on. BUT, in the same vein, it seems that giving of TIME is also down. No one seems to "notice" what needs to be done anymore. Several weeks ago someone came back to the church about an hour after services and they found ~ lights on in the kitchen, fellowship hall and hallway; kitchen door open, side door unlocked, front door unlocked. "Not my job." Serve on the Board? "No, I don't have time." Help with a project? "I wish I could but I don't have time." Help clean up the church yard? " wish I could, but I don't have time." Pay a visit to the sick? "I wish I could....." And even if they "say" they will... well... "sorry I'm late" or "sorry I forgot". No regard for the person on the other side. Some things just have to be done by some body. Body... human. Some human has to do the dirty work or the "not so" dirty work. Stuff just needs to be done. But, I'm not done. Daily phone calls ~ "Do you all help with electric bills? My electric gets turned off today at 2:00 p.m. Can you help?" "Do you all help with fuel bills? I have no heat. Can you help?" "Do you all help with Christmas gifts? I have a child with no gifts." "Can you take me to the doctor and get my medicine for me?" All people we don't know or have helped many times. None have applied for fuel assistance, Salvation Army or any of the other organizations set up to help with these issues. All run to the local ER for colds, when Walmart in Waynesboro has a $30 clinic. All have cell phones, cable TV and internet service. Note, I am NOT speaking of anyone who has any connection to us, nor do they want any connection with us. All of them have randomly called us in the phone book or the electric company has given them our name as "someone who might help". Top that off with hearing just last week of someone who said, "I'm going to Toys for Tots for my kids Christmas toys." When it was expressed that T4T was for 'disadvantaged children' they responded with "Well, it's free, so why shouldn't my kids get some of that free stuff." That's the people "WE" have become. Not a "pay as you go" society, but a "take as you can" society. Sense my frustration? Hubby and I were talking about how we "could" cut back if we "had to". Certainly we could save $300 or more each month if we ditched the TV, cell phones and internet service. $300 a MONTH! We could save more if I cooked more at home and used fewer convenience foods. We already keep our thermostats at 68 in the winter and I don't use a dryer to dry the clothes very often. Nor do I buy a whole lot of "new" clothes. An occasional sweater or jacket, but most purchases are from Goodwill or the Salvation Army. I do indulge in rubber stamping pretty heavily which could save...um.... between $25 and $75 a month (depending on the month). It would also help if we could sell that house. But, yet we still manage to tithe and give regularly to a variety of needful organizations. God has blessed us enormously! We've been blessed to loan money without a dime of repayment. We've bought little niceties for others that have helped from time to time. We give a TON of time that never gets recorded or even known about. And we consider ourselves "pretty normal". But the longer I live the more I know that we live in a crazy world. People are giving less and less and thinking about others less and less unless it's thinking about how they can take from them. We sit back and wonder how we raised 4 children on $15,000.00 a year. I wonder how I took care of one on $120. a week when rent was $175 a month. Then we realize we didn't have cell phones, internet or TV. We didn't eat out and I wasn't on $200 worth of meds every month. Justin still complains about eating spaghetti every week along with beef hash after having roast beef. We did it because we HAD to. We HAD to and I don't regret one, single day of it. Those years are remembered pretty fondly. We didn't go without. Not really. Today... very few HAVE to. We just don't want to. Heaven help us if we all end up having to. Merry Christmas....

Prophetic Blessings? A reader's review

Recently I was given the opportunity to read The Power of the Prophetic Blessing by John Hagee. Having listened to him over the years, but never read one of his books, I jumped at the chance. As Christians in America, I think we often miss the authority we have in Christ. Speaking blessings is one of those areas that you just don't hear often in the American Protestant Church. Hagee reminds us of the many blessings sought, stolen, gained and lost in the Scriptures. He also spends some time going through the blessings that Israel has experienced because of the Blessing of God on them. He says, "The Jewish people have excelled throughout history in the fields of medicine, technology, literature, science, the arts and much more. There is no rational explanation other than this success as a direct result of the supernatural power of the Prophetic Blessing." Throughout the book there are little, set aside, blurbs that encourage the reader to "Think on This". These little blurbs are quips that allow the reader to meditate on the words from the chapter in ways that keep you engaged. The book is broken into three sections that explain what the Blessings are and how to release them into our lives. It's a powerful, yet easy read. Most Christians are taught that the Word of God has power and this book reaffirms that by equipping one to declare God's Word over our lives and the lives of those whom we love allowing the Christian to live a worry free, rich life in Christ and His blessings. The last Chapter gives direct instruction on the best ways to proclaim these blessings and examples of speaking them. The book opens an idea that is important for our time, yet is rarely taught. If you've interest in experiencing God's blessings in your life and the lives of your friends and family, take the time to read and study this volume. You won't be sorry.

39 years and holding

Last night was the 39th reunion of my high school graduation. We combined it with 72 for their 40th. I've been thinking these last 24 hours or so why these "reunions" are so important. I've lived a whole life in 39 years since school. I've lived in 3 states and experienced all kinds of good and bad stuff. I've ended up with a top-notch husband, 4 children and 4 grandchildren (so far). Most of the last 39 years has been much more kind to me than high school was. Yet, I still keep wondering what it was about those 4 years of high school relationships, or maybe even 12 years (in the case of Trisha and I) that made such a huge impact that has stayed with us all these years. Frankly, I still don't know. But, this I know. Most of us "grew up". We stopped most all the cliquish stuff. For the most part the groups that stuck together were, in some parts, still together, but we mingled. We didn't hold old grudges or old social stuff. We didn't care if we were up on the dance floor with a bunch of girls. (I noticed '73 was on the floor more. Will 1 year make that much difference?) We didn't care who'd "made good" or who didn't. So here is why I think these reunions make a difference. Even now, in our every day life, we have to deal with the cliques and all the crap that comes with modern day relationship. But, here, in this closed community of classmates, we are on even ground. We all (well...most all) know where we came from and no longer care, because the relationship of childhood means more. We can "let our hair down" and no one will judge us, because we are all from the same place. And, in reality, we don't care anymore if we are judged by childhood friends. We have another life at our disposal. (At least most of us do). At least that's where I am. The best part? Seeing friends just as beautiful as 39 years ago. Some more so. A few pounds here, a few wrinkles there, but the smiles, the eyes, the souls are more tender and very recognizable. Most of us have mellowed and have found our place at last. Some of us have become closer than we were in high school and some of us who were close... well, one day in 39 years and it still all comes together. Gertrude Stein said that "We are always the same age inside" and in some ways that is true.. only my outside is 57, but I think Albert Einstein said it best for me, “People like you and I, though mortal of course like everyone else, do not grow old no matter how long we live...[We] never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.” Thanks for the memories, most those of new, not of old ~ though some of those were good too <3 "I can see clearly now the rain is gone...." CCHS class of '73

More Random Thoughts

I am beginning to wonder what is happening to me. I am pondering that spiritual gift of "Mercy". I've never been merciful, in my opinion. I'm the "call 'em out type". Everyone that knows me, and many who don't, never has to ask what I "really" think. It's pretty clear on my face and from my lips. I'm a spitfire about certain social graces because I think they are make us civilized and human, rather than the opposite.

What's that mean? Well, I believe you should sit at the table to eat your meals, with napkins and silverware. I believe you should consider others when you are making schedules and be respectful of their time. That means being timely and prepared for whatever you are expected to do, (even though I am the Queen of procrastination). I believe one should be loyal and live a life of integrity. If you claim to be a Christian then, well, you should BE a Christian and that means, to me, ever striving to be more Christlike. Which brings me to my wondering what is happening to me.

But, I really shouldn't. The reasons are far too deep and muddled in my background to explain here, but the areas with which I am struggling go back that far. It's cool, yet scary when the light goes on.

All my adult life, and much of my childhood, was being thrown into the "Land of the 'Less Thans'". Jesus said, ... as much as you do for the 'less thans'.... I never thought much about that before. But now...

My church is a different sort of fellowship. I love it there. I can see how God was preparing me to be there. We've been there almost ten full years. And now the lightbulb has gone on... flickering some, but on.

My parents were alcoholics. They died when I was very young (everyone who reads this will know that). Then in the 1980s I ended up being a Case Mgr. for ASAP, which was attached to the Detox Center. I also worked with the church youth. In the 1990s we moved to WV and I worked with my buddy Carol on a Wednesday night program with the youth. But these youth were "rough". Hard families, lonely, marginalized, backwoods kids. And we loved them. Oh my, my heart still turns to mush when I think of them. We presented Jesus to them in the form of words and deeds. I still remember being picked up and hugged by a young man who would make two of me. Not because of anything other than the acceptance of who he was right then. Undoubtedly some used drugs and alcohol or were there to escape them; most all smoked and were less than clean. But, my, how very "real" they were. You know? They didn't just accept what you said. They challenged us. I remember that same "hugger" asking me, "Do you really believe that *shit* Mrs. Elsea? My response without a hitch was, "yep, son I sure do". Then came the "do you think I'm going to hell?" We both responded with a "well that's pretty much up to you". I left there in 2000 and Carol was not far behind. I often think of those kids and whether or not they think about Jesus. Like all of us... it's our decision. Then in the 2000's I've worked with poor Haitians and tended to those with all manner of disease. I remember one woman who had some kind of pox all over her. She was in misery. I took off my gloves and just held her. Crazy, I know. Dangerous, perhaps. But, she needed that touch. I've done the same for at least one in my church family who was dying. She was older; in the last stages of ovarian cancer. We were supposed to gown up and I asked the nurse if it was for us or her. So, I asked the nurse to leave us be and I took off my gloves... again... and held her hand and put lotion on her dry, pitiful arms and hands and talked about heaven with her. I was the last person she ever talked with. She died about 4 hours later. What a blessing she was to me in those last hours.

Which brings me back to my wonderment or epiphany, whichever it might be. Like I said, I am NOT merciful. I am, according to all the "tests", prophetic. But, what I am finding out about myself and ourselves as the community on Taylor Spring, is that we are called to be Jesus to the "least of these". Jesus keeps sending them to our door and yesterday we spent about an hour in Bible Study with two marginalized people who asked the church to come and study with them. No one volunteered, so we went with a basket of food. (Little Red Riding Hood, she called me). Am I suspicious? "Yes". Do I think we are being used? "Perhaps". But, the one told us that some other churches made it clear they weren't welcome when they came through the door; and others when they sought to take bread and cup communion. Not us.. We are pitifully friendly. And he felt the welcome. He told his "gal" that we would welcome her. And we will. With open arms and everything else. It's just who we are. May God bless our pitiful efforts to love the least at home and abroad. And, yes, we'll be used from time to time. And, yes, others of higher stature won't feel comfortable when Sharon welcomes them with a "HI! HOW YA'LL DOING?" Or when Millie makes noise from her wheelchair. Those folks won't re-visit. But, God takes care of His and we'll be fine. The "big" church is down on the corner :)

Maybe there is some mercy growing in me somewhere after all.

Random Thoughts

I realize it's been months since I've posted. It's been a rather boring winter, frankly. Little snow, little cold. The apple trees are blooming a whole month early, which makes me figure that apples prices will be through the roof this fall (summer) when the fruit comes in. But, why shouldn't apple prices be through the roof? Everything keeps climbing higher and higher, food, gas, books. It's discouraging. Not discounting the total discouragement of it being an election year. I dumped our house phone earlier than I had intended this year for the simple reason I was sick of getting phone calls from all those candidate headquarters.

Today was Palm Sunday. We begin another Holy Week. I posted last during the Christmas Holy Days and now here we are into the holiest of holy weeks. Normally this is truly my favorite and most Holy Holiday. This year I'm rather down. Me and Jesus have been having some heart to hearts of late and I KNOW what He says, but I can't say I like it much. I'm struggling in some areas, which I don't normally reveal publicly, but who cares really.

So, here's the deal. I've been having some "trust" issues. People are so stinking untrustworthy. Everyone has an agenda and trust be damned. If I can't have things "my" way, then, well, I'll lie or stretch or do whatever to get my way or make you feel guilty for getting yours. It may not even be a "thing", just your "idea". And this isn't in the "world" either. I've also been having some issues with commitment as well. Everyone talks the talk, you know? But, they have no thought to whether they walk the walk. Commitment. What does that mean? At baptism you promise to:

* Live according to the example & teachings of Jesus;
* Be a loyal member of this church, upholding it by your prayers, your PRESENCE, your SUBSTANCE and your SERVICE.

This is a VOW to GOD! Yet few (about 1.8%) tithe, few attend every Sunday, no one cares of they are late or skip worship for a more fun Sunday School, few pray at all; few help clean up after themselves or help another clean up after a meal; few can be bothered about fellowship; few even think about church members outside their own families; fewer still read their Bible during the week and fewer than THAT carry their Bible to church and OPEN IT!

How do I know this? How can I be so cruel to judge? Well, let's see.... I see the offering every week; I see the attendance every week and notice when you are not there; someone also notices when you were on Facebook when church is going on ~ playing "slots"; you are noticed when you waltz in 15 minutes or 30 minutes into the service or at the end; "someone" cleans up after you and your family and it's usually a faithful group of few. "Someone" turns out the lights that you leave on every week and locks the doors. Who are those people? Do you know? Why do you think there are Bibles in the pews? Why do you think every Sunday School curriculum prints the scripture in the book? Why do you think it is your children do not know that saying "lets pray" means bowing your heads or at least closing your eyes and sitting quietly? Why do you think it is that if the Pastor says, "turn to the book of 2nd Exodus" half of you are thumbing through a Bible or better yet, aren't laughing.

This is what gets to me. I realize that the Bible has said that these days would come. I realize that He has made it clear that there are many who are luke-warm (most, I'm thinking). But, for me, it's sad. Really, really sad. Because I wish.... really, really wish, that "my people" and I could really make an impact in this community. But, we can't. Because we can't even make an impact in our own fellowship or in our own home. Our lives are "too busy" or we are too self-absorbed or something.

Here is the clincher: In October 2010 Lisa Cook came to Love Feast ~ Just two months before her leaving us. She was so sick she could hardly sit through it, but she came. She NEVER, EVER missed. Lisa wasn't someone "special". She was just a born again Christian like everyone else claims to be. But, these things of God meant something to her. Attending church MEANT something to her. Really meant something to her. Yet, while 94 were in Church on Palm Sunday (quite a few were missing), we won't see 1/2 that at Love Feast on Thursday. It just doesn't matter. Being at Jesus' table just doesn't matter any more than being in Church on Sunday matters. Jesus really doesn't care..........does He? Does He? Does HE?

So, I am truly "down". Those who dare to read this might find me judgmental or hateful, legalistic or just "mean old Janet". But, what you don't see are the tears and the sorrow I feel for not getting it. For wanting to understand and not understanding the lack of commitment ~ this give a s**t attitude. Because Jesus said if you love Him then you will love His Sheep. And part of loving His sheep is being a part of His sheep-fold. He also said we are to love Him with all our HEART, MIND, SOUL and STRENGTH. Yet, we wouldn't miss a workday because we overslept and we wouldn't miss a company dinner if the boss invited you and we wouldn't miss a chance to have dinner with friends if you were invited a month ahead either.

I've been trying to just turn stuff over the One who can handle it all and most of the time I do okay. I read the scriptures daily (in fact often get carried away with the time spent) and I pray for all the people I can through the day. But... some times... like right now, I feel like chucking it all and saying forget it and wondering why Jesus hasn't come back for us.

Ahhhh, well... this is .... just is... Blessed Easter, Pashel, Holy Week.