Christmas Day

Well, it's 10 p.m. on Christmas Day. The gifts are home and put away, the yummy food is in the fridge. Tomorrow takes us back to a relatively normal schedule with a few gift cards to pick up a few items desired. But what did this Christmas bring that was unexpected or new or wonderful or special to set it apart from past years?

Well, were I to look at the negative side I guess I could find a few things that didn't go as I would like them to have in a perfect world. But, honestly, most of the things that occurred were a blessing to me. I admit it, I dreaded heading up to the home of my mother-in-law yesterday. It's always too hot and the bed is too short and she has bars on her potty that are really cold when they rub against your hips. Aren't I terrible? But, because she is who she is, we went up there this year. Before we headed out, the husband and I exchanged our gifts. I had ordered a special gift for my husband, but it didn't come in... So, we had to suffice with the smaller I had wrapped. He, on the other hand, lugged in a huge wrapped gift into the house. Far too heavy for me to carry. I suspected the contents. Yes, I am blessed to have a husband who remembers. I am now the proud owner of a wonderful belt sander for my fret work! I love my husband. Now, for heat in the garage so I can saw and sand away in the winter :) I can't wait to try that puppy out.

For the past few years we've had services here at the house and friends came and our house was afloat with friends on Christmas Eve. This was especially important when the children are grown and gone and are pulled hither and yon on Christmas Eve, so they are not here. There was laughter and fun and...well.... it took the sting out of missing children. But, to look at it from Mom's point of view, I guess she misses her children too, even though she was at our house two years ago on Christmas Eve and choses not to be with us. Anyway... onward. I must cease to whine.

We arrived at mom's 30 minutes before Christmas Eve services were to start at our "home" church. Henry was a part of this church since childhood until 1993. I, for just ten years '83-'93. Both my sons were baptized there and one married there. There I first wore a headcovering and learned of the wonderful history of who we are. There, I taught my first Sunday School class and served on my first Church Board. It really is "home" in many ways. Stepping in there last night there was much that was familiar. The music and worship was wonderful. Many memories were sparked in that pew of times when children were small, when we looked forward to family time after the services and the reading of scriptures. Ahhh... sweet memories sparked in that hour. I was able to see and speak to a few people with whom I have a history with and that was all sweet.

From church we headed to mom's for ice cream and quiet and, yes, it was hot. But, we turned off the heat in our bedroom so it'd cool before we hit the bed. No need for a robe or slippers after changing into my nightgown. None of the old traditions now. Something different, but just as sweet. Still with people I love... my dear husband and my dear mother in law. Both who hold special chambers of my heart and will until my time on this rock is done.

Early this morning I awoke to the smell of coffee and bacon. Yummy! Christmas breakfast. The husband was hard at it. Breakfast set in front of me shortly upon sitting down. Then we started getting things ready. Hauling up the card table for the kiddies, setting the good china on the table. Putting Mr. Tom Turkey in one oven and Mr. Porky Ham in the other, peeling a ton of potatoes, while Mom sat at the table and chopped up the celery and onion for dressing. By 1 all was well. With the gravy quickly made, taters mashed, the bread heated and the beans heated, salad placed, the ten of us sat down with much thanks to God, to a wonderful meal. The pies came later. Now, this was a "normal" Christmas. The Christmas we all remembered. Even though the husband and I did most of the cooking, everyone, except the wives and grands, all remember fondly, "dinner at Nanny's". There was laughter and looks around the table and children who barely ate a thing. After eating some of us took leave to take a walk in the beautiful, sunny and warm December day. But, not before the husband called our attention to some precious blue finches flying all around the garage and barn. I'm sure the dear dil's got pictures and I'll post them at some point if they did.

Anyway, as all the youngens and I walked through the fields of acreage, we reminesced about the primary one missing at the table today. Pappy, "the Dad", who left us June 6, 1990, was missed still today. He sat at the head of the table, always, and no one left a crumb on their plate when he was there. Justin talked of barbed wire, fences and gates he shut when helping on the farm. Rex and Justin shared memory of a Pappy and a goose named Snow White that no one loved but Pappy. Other names missing from the table were mentioned today, Pap-paw, Mam-aw, Aunt Margaret... All those who've gone on. Rex has little memory of those, but Justin remembers them all and he tells the stories that bring a tear to your eye.... from laughter. We also spoke of missing siblings/children, living in North Carolina who were sadly absent from the table.

I watched my grandsons run, bent for leather, up and down hills and jumping over springs . I showed Luke where deer had laid and he had to lay down to see how it felt. I also showed Luke some dried up Rabbit tobacco and he asked, "do rabbits smoke?" He gave it to his mom. It has a wonderful smell, even dried. As we crossed through barbed wire, I saw each one help the other so that no clothing was torn or damaged, something that would have never happened as children ~ buddy back then you were on your own! I watched Justin lift his wife over the fence and remembered Henry doing the same for me once and 75 pounds ago. Fact is, I stood back a good bit and just watched. Watched little boys, now the size of men; watched women with cameras catching memories on disk; watched little boys see another part of their daddy's world through children's eyes. It was a beautiful and, yet, sad, sight. It's odd watching and realizing that your children really don't need you anymore. Odder still to think that they are there, now, with you because they want to be and not because they have no choice. (At least I hope that is the case, and they are not there out of obligation so much.) It's telling to see a movement or word from a little boy's mouth, and hearing or seeing your own child in it. To have a little boy stop and say, "Mee-Mee my shoe is untied", and when you stop to help, he says, "You get it straight, but I can tie it". Ahhh, a joy. A joy to know he can tie it and a joy to know he still needs your help...for a while yet.

Yes, it was a day I hated to see end. No real sorrow at all... just joy. Yes, the gifts were nice, especially the cologne... And I'm wearing my new robe now. But it was the time... the walk... the memories...the children...both young and not so, that made the day a special one. And, we gave some of that back to Mom as well. So, I'm glad we went. I'm glad we spent the time. We never know when time will end for us. The Bible tells us to redeem the time because the days are evil. Today I redeemed some time. Thanks be to God and to my dear husband, dear mother in law and dear children.

Merry Christmas Every one! May we "see" Christ-mas all year long!

Who's Lost?

I know, I know... getting wordy in my old age, but when I have a "blog" on the brain.. well... better write it while I can.

Last night I watched "God Grew Tired of Us". In light of our recent visit from the Lead Team for our Sudan Initiative in the COB, it was an informative and disturbing movie. Some of the reasons I have for saying "disturbing" will surprise you, most of them will not.

I love debates. My younger daughter in law will attest to her disdain for the debates that ensue when they come home. Much of the educational time spent with my boys was in debate. I would like to believe those debates taught them how to think independently. Thereby being well equipped to face realities head on and find solutions not common to others. This blog may bring about some debate. I hope not, but it may.

This movie. In case you do not know, it is about the "lost boys" of South Sudan. A war that led tens of thousands of Christian and animist children to walk a thousand miles to Ethiopia and then another thousand to Kenya in search of a safe haven. Some spent fifteen years in refugee camps in Kenya. Many starved and their graves were dug by their comrades.. children aged ten or so. It is a sobering fact. I am ashamed that my government allowed this to happen. The murderers were their northern neighbors.. Arab. I'll let you figure out their religion. These children left their homes after their parents and other relations were massacred or otherwise exiled and after a government edict that all south Sudanese male children were to be executed. Again, I am ashamed and horrified that this kind of nightmare was perpetrated upon children and we did little or nothing. I could continue on a rant on how the U.S. has a history of this sort of thing unless it pertains to "our" wealth, but I won't... at least not right now. Anyway, some of these boys were taken from Kenya and brought to 24 of our States to live. The ones featured on this movie were in Syracuse, NY and Pittsburgh, PA. Cities. Why they brought these boys whose parents had owned farms, to cities, I do not know, but they were taken to cities. The movie goes on to show how some adjusted, at least one had a mental breakdown and others didn't adjust quite so well. Some found their parents alive, years later and others did not. I cannot imagine their suffering. Can't begin to fathom it. BUT..

There was another telling tale in this. Each of the boys that did relatively well, worked at least two jobs to "pay back the government" and send money back to Sudan and "live". If you can call working on those hours "living" . They also went to College. How they paid for that I am not sure, but I assume there were lots of grants. (Which is fine with me.) Living in Sudan they stayed in groups for safety and for the familiarity of it. Here their "groups" were seen as "gang-like" and people reported them to the authorities. So, they were advised to go in pairs or alone. They didn't understand that. They also didn't understand why people were so unfriendly. At one point they showed them in a grocery store and some guy was staring a hole through them. It was embarrassing.

At Christmas time they asked the "meaning" of the Christmas tree and Santa Claus. They asked, "is this in the Bible"? At one point a single boy said, "no one can answer my questions". Ain't that pitiful? Can we really explain our silly Christmas traditions? Now, I can explain the traditions surrounding our Christmas', but it's true... they are NOT in the Bible. Maybe we should re-think what we know of our own traditions. If they have a real meaning behind them.. then fine. If they don't, maybe we ought to revisit them. We should at least be able to explain them with some sense of intelligence.

Okay, onward. I guess what really struck a chord, other than my sorrow for them and anger toward their northern countrymen, not to mention my own government, was a comment that could easily be missed. One young man wondered how families in this country had any time together when they work so much. "Where is their family time", he asked? In Sudan, these boys developed family relationships among themselves, yearned for their families lost and cannot understand why we have so little time to be together. In light of our family, it got me to thinking.

The Fair Labor Standards Act was passed in 1938. It was then the term "9 to 5" became synonymous with "full time" work. Fast forward almost six decades and see what you get. Most researchers would argue that the 40 hour work week is nearly as obsolete as most of the factory jobs to which it was originally applied. According to a recent survey by Expedia.com, 63 percent of Americans work more than 40 hours a week, with some 40 % exceeding the 50-hour a week mark. More than $21 billion dollars in vacation time goes unused annually (and back to employers!), as we spend 2.5 more weeks—and three months more—at work than do our Japanese and western European counterparts, respectively. U.S. resorts are filled with Europeans because the US workers can't take the time off. What is wrong with this picture?

In the early years of my working outside the home I worked 9-5 in an office job and was paid for my lunch. Later, it was 8-5 and my lunch was "on me", whether at my desk or on the street, made no difference. Now, it's 7-7, unpaid breaks and lunches are built in. In the early years, Thanksgiving Friday was a paid day off. When Christmas fell on Tuesday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday, you could count on an extra paid holiday in there. Easter? Good Friday was a day off, as was often Easter Monday. These extra days gave families the opportunity to visit far away family members ~ their in-laws AND out-laws. Yes, retail folks often had to work, but factories and offices were closed... C-L-O-S-E-D, closed. It was family time. Remember F-A-M-I-L-Y? Mom, Dad, Children, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles? Only ones that get those days now, are government workers.

In a time where we "say" we want to make families more valuable; in the days of the "Family Leave Act"... (time off withOUT pay... who can do that?) ~ we demote the family in favor of the factory ~ (ie the office). Slave to the desk. Think I'm nuts? We have two sons and two daughters. Our sons live 2 hours east, our daughters live five hours south. Know the last Thanksgiving or Christmas we all had together? 2003. Since then our daughters have not had a post-Thanksgiving Friday off from work, nor a full Christmas Eve or day after Christmas off. Our daughter-in-law has to work a half a day on Christmas Eve and then must be back to work on the 26th. So, this year... I have NO children at home on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. As a compromise we will drive to my mother in laws home and meet up for a couple of hours with the boys. But, the girls? I'm mailing their gifts tomorrow. We are thinking about going to see the girls for the New Year, but, even New Year's Eve they have to work, having the 1st off and, then... everyone is back to work. So, we've not totally decided on the travel. It's not just about us. Everyone who is married has two sets of family and often four or more, if the families are blended. But we can get together on vacation, right? Wrong. When you add in immediate, (ie mom, dad, children), family vacations and one or two days here and there for other things, there's no time to spend a "week" at home with Mom and Dad ~ ANY Mom and Dad. Most of the children have two weeks or less. Our "elder" daughter in law, who now has summers off, spends a few days with us in the summer. Our daughters manage one or two long weekends each year, when we try to all together. (Note on "try", because you have to have "permission" to take your vacation these days.) No wonder so many old folks are truly "alone". There's no time. The Master wants it all. I read an ad in yesterday's paper for a "professional position" which was nothing more than a glorified secretary. She had to work Monday through Friday, some weekends and be "on call by phone" 24/7, plus she had to have a Bachelor's degree in nursing. What insane person nurse would apply for that? Another secretarial job required you to be "bi-lingual" and available most weekends. Sounds like we need a "new and improved" Fair Labor Standards Act that looks at families.

The Lost Boys of Southern Sudan want to bring their families to the United States to be with them. To be safe. I'm here praying that the Hardenbrooks and people like them in the Sudan Initiative, can bring a real peace for those Christian brothers and sisters in South Sudan, so they can go home. They know what family really is. We've forgotten.

Life and Life

What is it about life that makes it "Life"? The dictionary gives "life" 20 or more definitions. I like the last one more than the rest. "Something resembling animate life". Hmmmm, makes me wonder. Am I animated? LOL! Sometimes I'm animated and sometimes I'm not, but I guess I always "resemble" something animated. But I know some folks who are "living" but they do NOT resemble animated life. They are foul all the time and miserable to be with. I'd hate for anyone to think that of me.

Life... this week someone I knew only by name and offspring lost their life in an accidental drowning. Someone else I know well is having his life taken by a dreaded disease called cancer.... no more treatments, just being kept comfortable. Un-animated all at once or by inches? One knew Jesus Christ and lives for HIM alone... the other, we can only hope, in their last moments called His Name for salvation! I know, I know, you are thinking... "How un-Christmas!"

I wonder how often we realize that ALL male children under 2 in Bethlehem were murdered by Herod looking for Jesus. Those boys had lives ahead of them, yet they were brutally murdered in the rage perpetrated by a King. How is it possible that the beautiful birth of a baby boy can be so clouded and overshadowed by the murder of innocents. How is it possible that the Savior of all mankind was kept safe by the hands of parents while other equally competent parents suffered the loss of their babies? I'm waxing closer and closer to more depressing thoughts, so will change the idea for now. Just some food for your brain.

Christmas. All about Jesus? We would like to think so, but it is more likely the panic of "What am I gonna buy for ____?" or "How am I gonna get these cards done?" While we eagerly, year to year, anxiously look forward to "the day", when it comes we see the mess, let out a sigh and go back to the other 364 days of the year anticipating "the day". We are all crazy. How many folks do YOU know that will have no family visits this Christmas? How many folks do YOU know that will be without filled stockings this year? What about them? How do they anticipate another year hearing the songs, smelling the smells, but never tasting? Always winter, never Christmas! (CS Lewis) Ahh, Jesus! Let's think and talk and "be" about Jesus! That way the songs and smells and all else "Christmas" will be sweet and the tastes are available to all and then may it be "Always Christmas and never winter".

Share the joy of living in the Light of Christ Jesus! Forget the rest... it's all without meaning. Share the joy!!!

More later.... Merry Christmas every-body!!!