Sun Worshippers

Today I had my twice yearly "body check" by my dermatologist. It's always traumatic and I never fail to hurt somewhere when I come home. If there hasn't been something burned off, then there has been something cut out and off. It's depressing. I find myself looking in the mirror every morning only to find another "thing" has popped up overnight. A few weeks ago it was a "thing" on my left cheek. My face is the worst. Today I had two places burned off on my face and I could have had several more, but, since they aren't "dangerous" I decided not to. My head hurt too much from the two done. Today was a total of only eight. Usually it's in the "teens". I also had a sun reaction on the back of my arms this time. That's a new one. I had several dresses ruined last year from the reaction of sunscreen chemicals with fabrics and iron in our water. So, my doctor gave me a few samples of a good old zinc oxide lotion that probably won't stain anything. I received the expected lecture on my face (I wear 50 spf) and on my arms (admittedly uncovered). She complimented me on my legs now a dead shade of white because they are always covered. From just 3 days of wearing sandals I have the beginnings of the white line, though, so I need to be more conscious of that. Why all this? Well, I am a prime candidate for melanoma. Melanoma kills people. It's one of the most dangerous forms of cancer. And if you have EVER been in a suntanning bed your chances of melanoma soar. If you have ever gotten a sunburn that blistered, your chances increase there also. If you are of northern European descent, with fair skin and blue eyes, then your chances increase again. So, since I've done everything I could to increase my chances, I visit the dermatologist regularly. So far I've had basal and squamous cell carcinomas that have been removed, but I've thus far been blessed not to have the dreaded melanoma. I keep praying I never do. Yet, a summer never comes that I don't wish for tanned legs and body. Being pasty white just doesn't seem "right" to me. I am to wear big, floppy hats, long sleeves and all the rest, but I HATE IT. Today in my "funk", I recalled my grandmother (who died when I was ten) telling me that only the less thans allowed their skins to be exposed to the sun. She worked out in the garden with long sleeves and a big old slatted bonnet. She was always commenting on my shorts and halters that I ran around in in the summer. I imagine she would have flipped if she'd lived to see me in my bikinis during my high school years sunbathing with baby oil and vinegar. I wonder what she would have thought of my many sunburns that resulted in blisters; sometimes as big as quarters? Because if you burn once, then you tan. I remember when I was sixteen or so I had spent the day at Old Hickory pool and had a date for the movies that night. I came home and showered and I well remember thinking I would die!! I put on a red peasant blouse and some shorts. I well remember being unable to wear a bra because it hurt too much. It wasn't too noticeable considering I weighed about 95 pounds. In the movies my date put his arm around me and I screamed because it hurt so bad to touch my shoulders. That is the kind of summer life I lived for many years. But, there is always pay day, some day and I am paying now. In reading the history of sunbathing I found that women didn't really start exposing their skin to the sun until the 1900s and it was considered in bad taste to do so until the 50s. So we have about 70 years of sun exposure that has been dangerous all along. So today I'm looking at stuff to wash my clothing in to to give it a high SPF (most shirts have an SPF of 5), hats that protect and all that stuff. I've told many young women to stay out of the tanning beds, but few are listening until they get to be my age. But the realities are frightening... The average American's risk of developing melanoma in his or her lifetime increased from one in 1,500 in 1930, to one in 250 in 1980 and one in 74 in 2000. That is significant to notice and many studies are indicating that tanning beds have a great deal to do with that increase from 1980 to 2000. MTV has been heavily criticized for the show Jersey Shore for it's glamorizing tanning beds. Tanning beds are the most dangerous things you can use, yet few people going on cruises or an early beach trip don't use them. So why this blog? Well, I'm sitting here with a headache from liquid nitrogen used to burn off sun damage on my scalp. I'm sitting here with loose clothing on because of the same burns on my shoulder, chest, leg and cheek. All because I don't want to develop one of the most difficult cancers to cure if it's found after Stage 1. So, I wrote this because it's heavily on my mind and because if just ONE person uses 30 spf sunscreen on their face and body or covers their bodies with more clothing because of this blog, then it's worth it. Don't sunbath. Don't get sunburned.

It's a Whole New Year! (soon anyway)

As I sit here with my "Mee-Mee's Sippy Cup" filled with something very sweet, I am reflecting on 2012 and days prior. It was ten years ago this past weekend that we signed the lease on our rental house and I moved back to Virginia from the wilds of western Maryland. Ten years. I have missed some of the interaction I had ten years ago. I miss Brenda Harvey at the Westmarva District Office. She was and still is a great friend. I miss the Amish friends we had there, especially the Alfred Yoder family that I understand have now moved on to Ohio. I miss some of the Yahoo Groups I was involved with back then too. There was one called, "The Way" and someone on that group made us all ornaments for our Christmas trees. I still hang those eggshells on my tree every year. Other Yahoo Groups helped me to grow in my faith and I miss them more than they can know. I tried other groups over the last years, but none stand in the shadow of those of the early years of internet. But, today, hubby and I spent some quality time together and talked about how this was "home" and the best place and most homey place "I" have lived in my adult life. Hubby agreed that this is just a tad above West Virginia where he was very happy. Putting the Mt. Pleasant area the best place ever. Without Carol B. I would have been miserable in WV I think. He says, I wasn't the same after the "break up" between us and another family, and was ready to leave WV after that. He is right. So that means these last ten years have been some of the most meaningful in my Christian life. Wow! Not sure what all that means. HAHA~ Either I was very, very pitiful, or this is really a great place. LOL! Well, let's review these last ten years. In the last ten years I have lived in four houses. My youngest son has married and my oldest has had another child, as has our youngest daughter. Number five is on the way. Imagine... me a grandmother of five. In ten years I have lost most of the pigment in my hair. It is now more gray than brown. I have also developed wonderful "Hillary Clinton" jowls. That I could do without. In the last ten years I have reconnected with the old home town that I left nearly forty years ago and people I left there. I lost a very close friend to the "Big C" which still has my head spinning. She was ten years younger than I and I miss her like a part of me was cut out. I know she is waiting by "the River" for me. She promised. After 15 years of "no jewelry", I put my wedding ring back on and added Mom's rings and a ring of remembrance of my dear buddy Katie Dunkard :) Mom went home to Heaven. I still miss her and think to call her every now and then. Her leaving us changed the very center of our lives. I also have made a number of trips to Haiti in the last ten years. And I am ordained in the COB and serve the church as Henry's associate. That's an accomplishment. So much has changed. What hasn't? Well, I still wear the covering and while I don't wear cape dresses much anymore, I still dress pretty plain. I am still opinionated and love to laugh! That much will probably never change. So, what now? Well, 2013 looms withing the next 7 hours or so. Who knows what the year will bring? We leave for another trip to Haiti in just 14 days and some hours. And then the list gets long as the usual stuff continues. In August things may change drastically for this house. It will, once again, brighten with the laughter of another baby. My thoughts are quite occupied these days with the thought of car seats and fairy tales. I already have an ABC book in my Amazon wishlist. I will no doubt drive my poor daughter in law crazy before August even arrives. She is a very private person, God bless her, and I'm a "shout it from the rooftops" kinda girl. It's just the excitement of it all. I love having grandchildren. I can look back and remember Luke's birth like it was yesterday. I have a strong feeling that this one will be similar. I hope poor Julie has a sympathy on her poor mother and me. So, yes, I look forward to 2013 as another chapter of life opens. My 58th year. We enter into year 11 at Mt. Pleasant. Probably the longest pastorate they have ever had. That makes me smile. Those people at Mt. P drive us crazy from time to time, but yet we love them like family... which they are... warts and all. Because, really, they (well most of them) love us, our warts and all too. Merry, happy, blessed and wonderful 2013 everyone!

Seasonal Frustration

Generally, I love the Advent Season. The smells, the looks, even the work sometimes. It's a season of giving and receiving. Sadly, it's become more about some expectation of "giving" that is giving ME heartburn. Most everyone that knows Henry and I know that we are pretty generous in our giving. Past experience has shown that you can't "out give" God. When there is a genuine need we are often among the first writing a check. But, lately it seems there are more "hands out" than "hands writing checks". Offerings are down. (I say "offerings" because few actually tithe.) Charities are having to tighten the belt a bit, some are even ready to shut their doors because giving is down so much. At the same time, regardless of what you read, the real estate market is in the toilet, food prices are rising, taxes are going to go up rapidly (big surprise there) ~ I could go on and on. BUT, in the same vein, it seems that giving of TIME is also down. No one seems to "notice" what needs to be done anymore. Several weeks ago someone came back to the church about an hour after services and they found ~ lights on in the kitchen, fellowship hall and hallway; kitchen door open, side door unlocked, front door unlocked. "Not my job." Serve on the Board? "No, I don't have time." Help with a project? "I wish I could but I don't have time." Help clean up the church yard? " wish I could, but I don't have time." Pay a visit to the sick? "I wish I could....." And even if they "say" they will... well... "sorry I'm late" or "sorry I forgot". No regard for the person on the other side. Some things just have to be done by some body. Body... human. Some human has to do the dirty work or the "not so" dirty work. Stuff just needs to be done. But, I'm not done. Daily phone calls ~ "Do you all help with electric bills? My electric gets turned off today at 2:00 p.m. Can you help?" "Do you all help with fuel bills? I have no heat. Can you help?" "Do you all help with Christmas gifts? I have a child with no gifts." "Can you take me to the doctor and get my medicine for me?" All people we don't know or have helped many times. None have applied for fuel assistance, Salvation Army or any of the other organizations set up to help with these issues. All run to the local ER for colds, when Walmart in Waynesboro has a $30 clinic. All have cell phones, cable TV and internet service. Note, I am NOT speaking of anyone who has any connection to us, nor do they want any connection with us. All of them have randomly called us in the phone book or the electric company has given them our name as "someone who might help". Top that off with hearing just last week of someone who said, "I'm going to Toys for Tots for my kids Christmas toys." When it was expressed that T4T was for 'disadvantaged children' they responded with "Well, it's free, so why shouldn't my kids get some of that free stuff." That's the people "WE" have become. Not a "pay as you go" society, but a "take as you can" society. Sense my frustration? Hubby and I were talking about how we "could" cut back if we "had to". Certainly we could save $300 or more each month if we ditched the TV, cell phones and internet service. $300 a MONTH! We could save more if I cooked more at home and used fewer convenience foods. We already keep our thermostats at 68 in the winter and I don't use a dryer to dry the clothes very often. Nor do I buy a whole lot of "new" clothes. An occasional sweater or jacket, but most purchases are from Goodwill or the Salvation Army. I do indulge in rubber stamping pretty heavily which could save...um.... between $25 and $75 a month (depending on the month). It would also help if we could sell that house. But, yet we still manage to tithe and give regularly to a variety of needful organizations. God has blessed us enormously! We've been blessed to loan money without a dime of repayment. We've bought little niceties for others that have helped from time to time. We give a TON of time that never gets recorded or even known about. And we consider ourselves "pretty normal". But the longer I live the more I know that we live in a crazy world. People are giving less and less and thinking about others less and less unless it's thinking about how they can take from them. We sit back and wonder how we raised 4 children on $15,000.00 a year. I wonder how I took care of one on $120. a week when rent was $175 a month. Then we realize we didn't have cell phones, internet or TV. We didn't eat out and I wasn't on $200 worth of meds every month. Justin still complains about eating spaghetti every week along with beef hash after having roast beef. We did it because we HAD to. We HAD to and I don't regret one, single day of it. Those years are remembered pretty fondly. We didn't go without. Not really. Today... very few HAVE to. We just don't want to. Heaven help us if we all end up having to. Merry Christmas....

Prophetic Blessings? A reader's review

Recently I was given the opportunity to read The Power of the Prophetic Blessing by John Hagee. Having listened to him over the years, but never read one of his books, I jumped at the chance. As Christians in America, I think we often miss the authority we have in Christ. Speaking blessings is one of those areas that you just don't hear often in the American Protestant Church. Hagee reminds us of the many blessings sought, stolen, gained and lost in the Scriptures. He also spends some time going through the blessings that Israel has experienced because of the Blessing of God on them. He says, "The Jewish people have excelled throughout history in the fields of medicine, technology, literature, science, the arts and much more. There is no rational explanation other than this success as a direct result of the supernatural power of the Prophetic Blessing." Throughout the book there are little, set aside, blurbs that encourage the reader to "Think on This". These little blurbs are quips that allow the reader to meditate on the words from the chapter in ways that keep you engaged. The book is broken into three sections that explain what the Blessings are and how to release them into our lives. It's a powerful, yet easy read. Most Christians are taught that the Word of God has power and this book reaffirms that by equipping one to declare God's Word over our lives and the lives of those whom we love allowing the Christian to live a worry free, rich life in Christ and His blessings. The last Chapter gives direct instruction on the best ways to proclaim these blessings and examples of speaking them. The book opens an idea that is important for our time, yet is rarely taught. If you've interest in experiencing God's blessings in your life and the lives of your friends and family, take the time to read and study this volume. You won't be sorry.

39 years and holding

Last night was the 39th reunion of my high school graduation. We combined it with 72 for their 40th. I've been thinking these last 24 hours or so why these "reunions" are so important. I've lived a whole life in 39 years since school. I've lived in 3 states and experienced all kinds of good and bad stuff. I've ended up with a top-notch husband, 4 children and 4 grandchildren (so far). Most of the last 39 years has been much more kind to me than high school was. Yet, I still keep wondering what it was about those 4 years of high school relationships, or maybe even 12 years (in the case of Trisha and I) that made such a huge impact that has stayed with us all these years. Frankly, I still don't know. But, this I know. Most of us "grew up". We stopped most all the cliquish stuff. For the most part the groups that stuck together were, in some parts, still together, but we mingled. We didn't hold old grudges or old social stuff. We didn't care if we were up on the dance floor with a bunch of girls. (I noticed '73 was on the floor more. Will 1 year make that much difference?) We didn't care who'd "made good" or who didn't. So here is why I think these reunions make a difference. Even now, in our every day life, we have to deal with the cliques and all the crap that comes with modern day relationship. But, here, in this closed community of classmates, we are on even ground. We all (well...most all) know where we came from and no longer care, because the relationship of childhood means more. We can "let our hair down" and no one will judge us, because we are all from the same place. And, in reality, we don't care anymore if we are judged by childhood friends. We have another life at our disposal. (At least most of us do). At least that's where I am. The best part? Seeing friends just as beautiful as 39 years ago. Some more so. A few pounds here, a few wrinkles there, but the smiles, the eyes, the souls are more tender and very recognizable. Most of us have mellowed and have found our place at last. Some of us have become closer than we were in high school and some of us who were close... well, one day in 39 years and it still all comes together. Gertrude Stein said that "We are always the same age inside" and in some ways that is true.. only my outside is 57, but I think Albert Einstein said it best for me, “People like you and I, though mortal of course like everyone else, do not grow old no matter how long we live...[We] never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.” Thanks for the memories, most those of new, not of old ~ though some of those were good too <3 "I can see clearly now the rain is gone...." CCHS class of '73

More Random Thoughts

I am beginning to wonder what is happening to me. I am pondering that spiritual gift of "Mercy". I've never been merciful, in my opinion. I'm the "call 'em out type". Everyone that knows me, and many who don't, never has to ask what I "really" think. It's pretty clear on my face and from my lips. I'm a spitfire about certain social graces because I think they are make us civilized and human, rather than the opposite.

What's that mean? Well, I believe you should sit at the table to eat your meals, with napkins and silverware. I believe you should consider others when you are making schedules and be respectful of their time. That means being timely and prepared for whatever you are expected to do, (even though I am the Queen of procrastination). I believe one should be loyal and live a life of integrity. If you claim to be a Christian then, well, you should BE a Christian and that means, to me, ever striving to be more Christlike. Which brings me to my wondering what is happening to me.

But, I really shouldn't. The reasons are far too deep and muddled in my background to explain here, but the areas with which I am struggling go back that far. It's cool, yet scary when the light goes on.

All my adult life, and much of my childhood, was being thrown into the "Land of the 'Less Thans'". Jesus said, ... as much as you do for the 'less thans'.... I never thought much about that before. But now...

My church is a different sort of fellowship. I love it there. I can see how God was preparing me to be there. We've been there almost ten full years. And now the lightbulb has gone on... flickering some, but on.

My parents were alcoholics. They died when I was very young (everyone who reads this will know that). Then in the 1980s I ended up being a Case Mgr. for ASAP, which was attached to the Detox Center. I also worked with the church youth. In the 1990s we moved to WV and I worked with my buddy Carol on a Wednesday night program with the youth. But these youth were "rough". Hard families, lonely, marginalized, backwoods kids. And we loved them. Oh my, my heart still turns to mush when I think of them. We presented Jesus to them in the form of words and deeds. I still remember being picked up and hugged by a young man who would make two of me. Not because of anything other than the acceptance of who he was right then. Undoubtedly some used drugs and alcohol or were there to escape them; most all smoked and were less than clean. But, my, how very "real" they were. You know? They didn't just accept what you said. They challenged us. I remember that same "hugger" asking me, "Do you really believe that *shit* Mrs. Elsea? My response without a hitch was, "yep, son I sure do". Then came the "do you think I'm going to hell?" We both responded with a "well that's pretty much up to you". I left there in 2000 and Carol was not far behind. I often think of those kids and whether or not they think about Jesus. Like all of us... it's our decision. Then in the 2000's I've worked with poor Haitians and tended to those with all manner of disease. I remember one woman who had some kind of pox all over her. She was in misery. I took off my gloves and just held her. Crazy, I know. Dangerous, perhaps. But, she needed that touch. I've done the same for at least one in my church family who was dying. She was older; in the last stages of ovarian cancer. We were supposed to gown up and I asked the nurse if it was for us or her. So, I asked the nurse to leave us be and I took off my gloves... again... and held her hand and put lotion on her dry, pitiful arms and hands and talked about heaven with her. I was the last person she ever talked with. She died about 4 hours later. What a blessing she was to me in those last hours.

Which brings me back to my wonderment or epiphany, whichever it might be. Like I said, I am NOT merciful. I am, according to all the "tests", prophetic. But, what I am finding out about myself and ourselves as the community on Taylor Spring, is that we are called to be Jesus to the "least of these". Jesus keeps sending them to our door and yesterday we spent about an hour in Bible Study with two marginalized people who asked the church to come and study with them. No one volunteered, so we went with a basket of food. (Little Red Riding Hood, she called me). Am I suspicious? "Yes". Do I think we are being used? "Perhaps". But, the one told us that some other churches made it clear they weren't welcome when they came through the door; and others when they sought to take bread and cup communion. Not us.. We are pitifully friendly. And he felt the welcome. He told his "gal" that we would welcome her. And we will. With open arms and everything else. It's just who we are. May God bless our pitiful efforts to love the least at home and abroad. And, yes, we'll be used from time to time. And, yes, others of higher stature won't feel comfortable when Sharon welcomes them with a "HI! HOW YA'LL DOING?" Or when Millie makes noise from her wheelchair. Those folks won't re-visit. But, God takes care of His and we'll be fine. The "big" church is down on the corner :)

Maybe there is some mercy growing in me somewhere after all.

Random Thoughts

I realize it's been months since I've posted. It's been a rather boring winter, frankly. Little snow, little cold. The apple trees are blooming a whole month early, which makes me figure that apples prices will be through the roof this fall (summer) when the fruit comes in. But, why shouldn't apple prices be through the roof? Everything keeps climbing higher and higher, food, gas, books. It's discouraging. Not discounting the total discouragement of it being an election year. I dumped our house phone earlier than I had intended this year for the simple reason I was sick of getting phone calls from all those candidate headquarters.

Today was Palm Sunday. We begin another Holy Week. I posted last during the Christmas Holy Days and now here we are into the holiest of holy weeks. Normally this is truly my favorite and most Holy Holiday. This year I'm rather down. Me and Jesus have been having some heart to hearts of late and I KNOW what He says, but I can't say I like it much. I'm struggling in some areas, which I don't normally reveal publicly, but who cares really.

So, here's the deal. I've been having some "trust" issues. People are so stinking untrustworthy. Everyone has an agenda and trust be damned. If I can't have things "my" way, then, well, I'll lie or stretch or do whatever to get my way or make you feel guilty for getting yours. It may not even be a "thing", just your "idea". And this isn't in the "world" either. I've also been having some issues with commitment as well. Everyone talks the talk, you know? But, they have no thought to whether they walk the walk. Commitment. What does that mean? At baptism you promise to:

* Live according to the example & teachings of Jesus;
* Be a loyal member of this church, upholding it by your prayers, your PRESENCE, your SUBSTANCE and your SERVICE.

This is a VOW to GOD! Yet few (about 1.8%) tithe, few attend every Sunday, no one cares of they are late or skip worship for a more fun Sunday School, few pray at all; few help clean up after themselves or help another clean up after a meal; few can be bothered about fellowship; few even think about church members outside their own families; fewer still read their Bible during the week and fewer than THAT carry their Bible to church and OPEN IT!

How do I know this? How can I be so cruel to judge? Well, let's see.... I see the offering every week; I see the attendance every week and notice when you are not there; someone also notices when you were on Facebook when church is going on ~ playing "slots"; you are noticed when you waltz in 15 minutes or 30 minutes into the service or at the end; "someone" cleans up after you and your family and it's usually a faithful group of few. "Someone" turns out the lights that you leave on every week and locks the doors. Who are those people? Do you know? Why do you think there are Bibles in the pews? Why do you think every Sunday School curriculum prints the scripture in the book? Why do you think it is your children do not know that saying "lets pray" means bowing your heads or at least closing your eyes and sitting quietly? Why do you think it is that if the Pastor says, "turn to the book of 2nd Exodus" half of you are thumbing through a Bible or better yet, aren't laughing.

This is what gets to me. I realize that the Bible has said that these days would come. I realize that He has made it clear that there are many who are luke-warm (most, I'm thinking). But, for me, it's sad. Really, really sad. Because I wish.... really, really wish, that "my people" and I could really make an impact in this community. But, we can't. Because we can't even make an impact in our own fellowship or in our own home. Our lives are "too busy" or we are too self-absorbed or something.

Here is the clincher: In October 2010 Lisa Cook came to Love Feast ~ Just two months before her leaving us. She was so sick she could hardly sit through it, but she came. She NEVER, EVER missed. Lisa wasn't someone "special". She was just a born again Christian like everyone else claims to be. But, these things of God meant something to her. Attending church MEANT something to her. Really meant something to her. Yet, while 94 were in Church on Palm Sunday (quite a few were missing), we won't see 1/2 that at Love Feast on Thursday. It just doesn't matter. Being at Jesus' table just doesn't matter any more than being in Church on Sunday matters. Jesus really doesn't care..........does He? Does He? Does HE?

So, I am truly "down". Those who dare to read this might find me judgmental or hateful, legalistic or just "mean old Janet". But, what you don't see are the tears and the sorrow I feel for not getting it. For wanting to understand and not understanding the lack of commitment ~ this give a s**t attitude. Because Jesus said if you love Him then you will love His Sheep. And part of loving His sheep is being a part of His sheep-fold. He also said we are to love Him with all our HEART, MIND, SOUL and STRENGTH. Yet, we wouldn't miss a workday because we overslept and we wouldn't miss a company dinner if the boss invited you and we wouldn't miss a chance to have dinner with friends if you were invited a month ahead either.

I've been trying to just turn stuff over the One who can handle it all and most of the time I do okay. I read the scriptures daily (in fact often get carried away with the time spent) and I pray for all the people I can through the day. But... some times... like right now, I feel like chucking it all and saying forget it and wondering why Jesus hasn't come back for us.

Ahhhh, well... this is .... just is... Blessed Easter, Pashel, Holy Week.

What of Christmas?

Christmas this year seemed more exciting than most. I've been pondering just why that is. Last year everyone had been together several times due to Mom's and Lisa's death and we had a good time on Christmas Day with lots of memories and lots of laughs.

But, this year... this year had a calm, sweet and meaningful "thing" attached to it. I had so many angels attending to me, both natural and 'maybe not' natural. I didn't have much baking to do, but there are still acres and acres of cookies and cakes here. There were several wonderful events for fellowship ~ like the fellowship meal the 18th, the cookie exchange the 16th, the Live Nativity the first of the month, the Christmas program the evening of the 18th, the "private" stamping party with Carole on the 23rd and the Christmas Eve open house. The laughs and fun times of people we love. It's the people that made the Christmas!! Of course, not all was "wonderful". During the early part of Advent I was stricken with a bad cold followed by a virus that kept me from enjoying or even participating in the 3rd Sunday of Advent. But, that seems insignificant to the 40 days of Advent and the following 12 days of Christmas.

The highlight of Christmas was that it fell on Sunday this year. While some churches canceled, abbreviated or changed their services, Mt. Pleasant had a special service that included many people, many songs and many scriptures. We had a wonderful time of worshiping the King who's Birthday we celebrated. It seemed as though no one was in a big hurry to leave the church. People were hanging around just laughing and talking. Christmas should always be on Sunday!!

We had guests for dinner, Julie's parents. That added to the joy, too, I think. We always miss the Carolina Clan, but still the house was full. We fixed the meat, dressing and bread, but that's it. Everything else was brought in by the "other" Elsea Clan. Slow cookers filled the counter tops and no one was over stressed or over worked. It was a wonderful time. Justin and his Clan came too and we enjoyed opening gifts and playing games. The gifts weren't the center, the people were. It was calm enough that doggy Diesel slept or rested almost the entire day, or so it seemed. What was different? In Christmas' past the stress of cooking and all that drifted like a pall over the holiday. Why not this year? Because it was SUNDAY! I am convinced!!!

Monday Christmas seemed to continue on. Even though it was just the Knight and I, we worked on differing projects that led us to looking at old pictures and old papers that brought a taste of the ancestors back to us. The sweet smell of clean, line dried clothes and sheets permeated the house at the end of the day. Leftovers to eat, but they were as good as the day before. Even yesterday was a sweet Christmas Day. I read the story of the "Star Mother's Youngest Child" and a few chapters of the "Christmas Chronicles" which reminded me of why we give and why caring seems so close this time of the year. I still lit the tree, even though many took their tree down yesterday. Mine will remain until Epiphany, though the empty stockings don't have quite the same draw.

Today it is raining. Strangely, both of us wish it were snow. The Knight never wishes for snow, but today, he mentioned how pretty snow would be. We are both slow moving this morning. Not quite ready to face the day ~ and that is okay.

Preparation for the new year is in process along with thoughts toward Ephiphany.... the Magi.. the recognition that Jesus was and is the center figure in the Christmas celebration. I want to continue Christmas through 2012 and on forward. Reading Harvey Yoder's blog helped us to see what that means. Recognizing that less than a month from now I will be standing on the island if Haiti to do some service in the name of Jesus, once again. Recognizing that over the next months there were be tragedy and triumph; life and death; sorrow and laughter. Yet one thing is sure. Christ is still King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Two turtle doves. Today is the 2nd day of Christmas. Merry Christmas!!!

When the song of angels is stilled.
When the Star in the sky is gone.
When the Kings and Princes are home.
When the shepherds are back with their flocks,
the work of Christmas begins:
to find the lost,
to heal the broken,
to feed the hungry,
to release the prisoner,
to rebuild the nations,
to bring peace among people everywhere.
~author unknown, but borrowed from Harvey Yoder's blog.

A Moderators Last Stand

The first weekend of November, 2009 I was elected to be the Moderator-Elect for the Shenandoah District of the COB. I thought they were crazy then and I still think so. For the latter part of 2009 and 2010 I tried to watch the Moderator, Bernie Fuska do his job. Watching as I had done in years past through other Moderators as I served on the District Board. It seemed to be a position that didn't require much major work, the District even provided a "script" and all the supporting paperwork, so I felt relatively confident that everything would go fine.

In November 2010 we adopted a new Constitution and By-laws that re-created the District Board into a "Leadership Team" and having worked through the Gifts Discernment Team, we were all set to enter into a new era. I announced my Theme for my year as Moderator to be "Mission Possible" based from the book of Matthew and even had a vinyl of that scripture created for my car. Who knew? I was psyched for all the wonderful things that would happen with the new organizational plan and all the wonderful visioning that would come from it. I was SO EXCITED!!! The only gray cloud hanging around was the query set for Annual Conference in Grand Rapids. And that was far away from Shenandoah.

*BAM* *BANG* *CRACK* *BOOM* ~ At the first organizational meeting of the new Leadership Team, our District Executive Minister of 20+ years announced his retirement. Totally unexpected we all sat there kind of numb. We knew this was big stuff, but we'd manage. Right? We wanted to take an opportunity to include the whole District in this effort, so our Leadership Team Chair, (yay for Gift's Discernment), who "just happened to be" a really good administrator, began the strategy to do just that, by wrestling through the District. All those first hearings went well. We were confident. Moving forward. Then.... as the first 'real' preparations for this year's District Conference began to take shape... *BAM* *BANG* *CRACK* *BOOM* *ZING* ****OUCH***** Our Associate District Executive Minister announces she has taken another position. YE-OW and BIG OUCH!!! Joan is the heart and soul of organizing District Conference and she has been doing the work of two (ten) ~ what will we do? What will "I" do??? While this new position for Joan is top notch for her. She'll do extremely well, but ummmm.... what now?

The second set of hearings were met with "uh ohs" and not so much excitement and "let's move forward". We were all shell shocked by this "impossible" situation. Remember in the first paragraph where I said I thought they were crazy to elect me. Well, let me tell you, now I KNEW they were. All of a sudden the Administrative Assistant became the Administrator (God bless her) and she has done a fabulous job. Between the two of us and all the rest of the P&A Committee and lots of other folks, we started to put together something that "resembles" the District Conferences of the past. I am so thankful for her... and all the rest, but especially her.

So, here I am.... it's been an interesting week and I am now less than eight hours away from the opening of the 2011 Shenandoah District Conference of the Church of the Brethren. Moderator. After all the battles... after all the totally impossible scenarios... here I am.

Mission Possible? Well, I noticed that there is a new Western State Hospital being built as you come up I81 now. I may end up there yet, but at 5 a.m. this morning I woke with all kinds of ideas floating around in my head that now are floating in cyberspace in word documents and emails. How am I feeling?.....

I AM psyched for all the wonderful things that have happened and will happen in 2012 and all the wonderful visioning that WILL come from all the possibilities. I AM SO EXCITED!!! And there are no more gray clouds. And "no" I'm not on medication. I am simply a woman chosen for a job I wasn't sure I could do, but He was. In me, He is shown to be strong in my weakness. In me, He is shown as the Father because I am just a child. I serve an awesome God... a God of life from ashes, possibilities from impossibilities. Tomorrow? Sunday? Next week? Next month? Next year? BRING IT ON!!!!

That Church Music

After reading today's paper online, the letters to editor and ruminating on our latest Church Business meeting, I decided it was time to write some thoughts on church music.

Why do people get so excited about Church music when someone inserts a change? Why do people get so excited when a hymn shows up in the bulletin they aren't familiar with? Why do people get so excited when we sing a chorus rather than a hymn? I wish I knew.

Church music and the changes thereof have caused uneasiness down through the ages. Why? Well, the "c" word comes to mind. CHANGE! People hate change. But some hate it more than others. At my age, I'm not a big fan of change, but dang, every day something changes, so you have to roll with it. Give some room.

The early church, undoubtedly sang the Psalms. (The songs...) Somebody, at some point, came up with a "new" song. I expect when they sang it for their fellowship, some body raised the roof about their "evil music". I mentioned to someone a while back that I'd like to see us use a Psalter sometime for scripture memorization. That didn't fly. I keep wondering why. I'm not a music person, meaning I cannot "read" music or play an instrument. I feel sort of "unBrethren" because of failure, but I get by. Still, I love music. I love the sound of it, I love the variety of it, I love the 'feel' of it. I love to sing. Sometimes it sounds pretty bad, but I love to do it all the same. And I am not a music snob. I love ALL kinds of music ~ classic, traditional, rock, country, contemporary, you name it. When I have the opportunity to hear something "new" I enjoy it. So, I get very disturbed when people complain about "new" music! No, I get more than disturbed, it drives me nuts. Seriously, can't you find something BETTER to complain about?

Music in church has divided congregations more than it should. Fanny Crosby is a favorite hymn writer of many. Yet, her songs were set to the music of "familiar tunes" of the day. Familiar... as in... secular tunes. William Booth ? The same. How about my favorite, "Be Thou My Vision"? Not a sacred tune, I can tell you. Many folks complained about these artists music ~ not the words, mind you, but the tunes. "Devils music", they said. Well, William Booth answered with a question, "Why should the Devil have all the good tunes?" These same songs are some of the famous songs now that we all tout. Enter in Casting Crowns, Mercy Me, dare I say, News Boys. Songs, choruses... They have to have a SPECIAL TIME set aside to sing. Fifteen minutes before "church" starts we can sing those, but not during service. "We" (whomever 'we' are) don't like those songs, but we'll 'allow' you to have them before we get there.

Rebel that I am, I state, here, for the world to read, SICK of being told this garbage. God is interested in the words and heart of the song. I wonder what King David would think about our silly quarrels over music? Piano and organ only? He didn't have those, so used whatever he could find... lyre, drum, pipes... Let us sing on, play on, enjoy the words sung to the God of the Ages!!! At every service, at any time. Get over yourselves. Stretch yourselves. See what God can do!!!

Random Thoughts on Life in the 21st Century

A few days ago a friend sent me an email about being born before the 1970's. The email rambled on about children riding bicycles without helmets and all sorts of random things that were about my life as a child and, actually, some of my children's lives as well. It bestowed some fond memories, but also helped me "see", to some small degree, how paranoid we have become as a nation. In the early 70's I could still buy paregoric at the druggest. Camphorated tincture of opium!!! Yep, I could sign for one ounce at a time for use as an analgesic. Nothing worked better than a couple of drops of paregoric in a glass of water for cramps. Never thought of abusing it, though I'm sure some did. But, there were regulations for that! Now the regulation is, you can't buy it at all.

I also could sign for Robitussin Cough Syrup with Codeine. Yep, it was regulated too. I didn't abuse that either. Now I have to have a prescription. For my own good, of course.

A few years ago I could go in and buy large boxes of Sudafed. Thanks to the criminal element of society I now cannot buy it for the family, but rather only for myself... one 30 day supply per month per person. If this were not bad enough... maybe I can even understand it a little bit... we've certainly gone off the road into the ditch at this point.

A couple of weeks ago I went to buy a 3 pack of compressed air for a project to keep my cat off the furniture in the living room. I am 55 years old and had to show my I.D. for that single can of compressed air (no more 3 packs... illegal). COMPRESSED AIR!!! I.D.!!!

Today I read two articles "in the news". Seems the "underworld element" has produced some "bath salts" that contain some kind of super addictive, nasty chemical that is causing some addicted people to behave insanely by snorting, injecting or otherwise using the "bath salts". So, our government in its great wisdom are on the bandwagon to BAN THEIR SALES. Okay, so they are not "bath salts", so ban them, but DON'T CALL THEM BATH SALTS!!! They aren't. Bath salts contain epsom salts, fragrance and softeners. Seriously, don't tell me my Bath Salts are ILLEGAL TO OWN! Ban the chemical if you want to, if you absolutely must, (for my own good, of course), but QUIT CALLING IT some innocuous name.

Next article. You and I have high cholesterol. Big Brother is VERY concerned about my health and yours. So, consideration is being made to put Statins in your McD's burger. And all those depressed children? How about a psychotropic in their Happy Meal? I mean, why not? All these kids injecting Bath Salts and sniffing Compressed Air. They must be horribly depressed.

"1984" is no longer a required "Classic" in high school. Neither is "Brave New World", which to read is very scary in today's environment. Aldous Huxley was a visionary, in my opinion. George Orwell wasn't far behind.

We have become so accustomed to our governments and other authorities "Nanny-ing" us that we fail to think for ourselves. Take statins for instance. I argued for several years with my doctor over the issue of whether or not to take them. I am taking them now, after trying numerous other ways, but the oversight is negligible.

My cholesterol count dropped 70 points in 3 months on a statin. I keep wondering what the next six months will show. I haven't been checked since and am not "due" for several more months. That makes me nervous! In the beginning, when they were first common-ized (new word), blood tests were required every 3 months to check one's liver enzymes. Now it's every 6 to 12. A little scary for me, so I supplement with Milk Thistle. Most people I know who take them have leg cramps regularly. Why haven't their doctors told them that statins destroy CO Q10 in their muscles? Only the "self-informed" I know take that enzyme along with their statin, yet EVERY ARTICLE I've ever read recommends it. But, Nanny "forgot" to tell you, so, well, Doctor's know best. Right? Don't check it out for yourself. Heck, don't even call the doc and tell him (even though it says to on all the literature they gave you that you didn't read).

Lest one thinks that this is my "old age" showing. I assure you it is not. Today is my oldest son's 37th birthday. When he was a baby I took him to Dr. Way in Winchester. Old Dr. Way looked at him and started writing a prescription without saying anything to me at all. Now I know I was only 19, maybe 20, but still, Justin was mine. So, I said, "what's that for" and he said, "honey, don't you worry about it. Just take it to the pharmacy and follow the instructions. I'm the doctor." I looked at old Dr. Way and as he handed me the script, I tore it up in his face and said, "I don't give my child anything that I don't know what it's for." Period. The end. I took him to Dr. Jones the next day, got the same med for an ear infection. He explained everything. Was the best pediatrician I ever had and I was broken hearted when he moved to Texas. He served my children well. So, see, I've always been careful and well read.

We have become a nation of lemmings. We do not think for ourselves and if we do, we are labeled as "rebels". We not only want to be taken care of, we demand it of our authorities, and, of course, they love the control.

From opium to bath salts and all things in between ~ do we really need someone to outlaw a chemical that destroy us? Isn't information enough? Shouldn't we hold some responsibility?

Everyone knows cigarettes kill. EVERYONE! Yet, we all know nurses that smoke. NURSES!! It's legal, right? I watch people who have no jobs, no visible means of support, yet they smoke a pack of cigarettes a DAY to the tune of about $5. That's $150. a MONTH!!! I know other people that talk about their budgets all the time. "If I just had an extra $100 a month." Well, you would if you didn't smoke it away. Wanna outlaw something? How 'bout that?

Having been a former smoker, I can smell it when I walk into a room that has housed smokers. Not someone smoking, but smokERS. But, the Nanny government makes money from the tax on those cancer sticks. So, they are legal.

You know what? TAX, TAX, TAX.... the old adage of "sin tax" holds true. If someone wants to make meth with their sudafed, then, by God, TAX them! Any more than 90 days worth, slap a huge tax on them. They are making an illegal drug with no medicinal value... arrest them, charge them. But do NOT punish me. If I want to grow marijuana in my back yard for my use ~ my business. If I want to grow it and sell it, then TAX the crap out of me!!! TAX, TAX, TAX.

So, this is my rant for today. From paregoric to bath salts. From statins by prescription to statins in your burger. And they ask me why I'm a Libertarian? Seriously? You gotta be kidding. A lemming, I ain't.

Rambling Rose... Hey it's Monday :)

A Book Review ~ The Liturgical Year

As an anabaptist/pietist sort of woman, I've had little exposure to the liturgical year, so the opportunity to read this book really struck a cord. The "exact" title is The Liturgical Year, the spiraling adventure of the spiritual life, written by Joan Chittister. What a great little book! Joan writes in a very easy to read way to explain how we need to look at ancient practices from time to time to live today. The liturgical year has great importance to the Christian. It satisfies the hunger that each Christian feels about coming closer to Jesus on a daily basis. From Advent to Lent and all things before and after, each has a connection to the life of our Jesus and to us in our spiritual lives. Too bad the protestant and anabaptists missed using that Christian year more fully. This books goes through the Christian year with a look at each avenue providing a depth that isn't often there for us. If there was anything missing, I would say it's a genuine perpetual calendar that would help us who are unfamiliar to become even more liturgical in our lives. I really enjoyed this read and it gave me a push to learn even more about the Liturgical year in the Christian's life.

Book Review ~ Jungle Warfare

Just finished reading Jungle Warfare, A Basic Field Manual for Christians in Sales by Christopher A. Cunningham. Don't you love the title? I do!

I'm not in "sales" per se, but every Christian needs to realize that when we are serving Christ we are in a War. This books spends 22 days developing a "battle plan" of action for the Christian salesman/woman. This book takes a 1941 Jungle Warfare manual and portrayed an excellent plan of action for the Christian. As an example, on Day 19 we are told to "Pray for Your Enemy". The basic field manual lists what to do when you meet an enemy and then goes on to list the scriptures that tell us to love our enemies and pray for them. I won't disclose how to pray for them. That's for you to read the book. This book serves as a fine pocket manual on how to carry ones self in the dog eat dog world of sales and how to win the battles that vocation (and most any other) throws at us. It's size makes it perfect for the brief-case or purse. I highly recommend it.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Through a Glass Darkly

I Corinthians 13:12 ~ For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

Like traveling in a rain storm being drenched on the windshield. It's like looking through a carnival glass. You can "see", but the images are distorted and the landscape is as odd as to be indiscernable from the road.

Such is life at this moment.

My mother in law has been the strongest women in my life. Mom stands very tall even in comparison to my own mother who told the doctor, "I will go home." And strutted in the door to die quietly in her bed within 48 hours.

Around six year ago Mom had a hip replacement. In the midst of her rehab she developed MRSA and ended up in a nursing home receiving IV antibiotics for a period of time. But, she came through well. Went home and spent the next few years in her chair with all but a scepter ruling her family from that chair. She drove to church and to the Dollar store and hid the times she fell or hit the garage door or otherwise did things she knew we would find troublesome. She complained when we didn't visit or call and often complained when we did. Her bitterness at her widowhood grew and her frugal living grew also.

Four years later during a visit with my son she revealed a horrific accident that resulted in some serious damage to her leg. In her desire to "hide the evidence" she developed cellulitis. Serious stuff when it comes to connective tissue and nerves. The leg was painful from there forward. Stubbornness has a price.

In May of this year (two years since that accident) she decided that the pain in her knee was worse than the pain in her hip, so she consented to another knee replacement. While we were not comfortable with the surgery, as she seemed frail to us, we knew it was her decision to make, along with the surgeon. We also had her 99% convinced in light of falls and whatnot that she should move in with us at the completion of this surgery.

Her surgery done and two pints of blood later, we had the good fortune of her going to Bridgewater Retirement Community for her rehab. She worked hard, complained much and was released to us in 21 days. In our "new" home, bought just for her, with TV and phone, she went through 3 more weeks of in house therapy. Her attitude became more and more combative as time went on. At the time we thought she could settle in here she announced she was going home. No consideration for the amount of money we had spent, were spending and were locked into spending she insisted on going back to her home. My dear husband in his prophetic wisdom said, "give me the name of the nursing home where you want to go. In six weeks you'll be there." Boy was she mad. I can still see the anger in her face and set of her jaw. Henry took her home that day. That very day. That was June 28th.

July 28th Henry and I were visiting a sister in Christ at a local nursing home. We received a call that Mom was in the ER in Winchester. Over the next days the story would unfold. Winchester had experienced a bit of a wind storm that had blown limbs out of her trees. The temperatures were in 100's, so even though she "complained" to both her sons, they both said it was too hot to be outside and that we were ALL staying inside. Not mom. On that Wednesday we spoke with her at 9:45 a.m. Our Missy spoke with her sometime before or after and she told her, (not us), that she was going outside to pick up sticks. As near as we can tell, she made a walk around the house and about 5' from the back porch steps she either: fainted or had a heart attack. Either way she lay in the sun for approximately two hours before a mail carrier came early and happen to see her blouse waving in the wind.

For five days she languished on a ventilator after arriving with a fever in "far excess" of 105.8, (doctors estimate 107), with third degree burns on her legs, a septic UTI, second degree burns on her stomach and a heart that was now working about about 30% it's capacity. Her life hung in a very delicate balance. But, when she decided to awaken, she did. Much to the surprise of the CCU doctor she awoke with no serious brain damage (though some continues to unfold), and willing to "get on with things".

On August 9th my husband had a knee replacement. On the 11th Mom came back to Bridgewater for rehab. Things were looking up. The doctors had already told mom she could not go home, so she had settled herself with the idea of coming to live with us. We were getting reacquainted with the idea and she asked that I bring things to our home. I loaded up my car and hauled personal items from her house to mine in expectation that on August 31st she'd be heading back to our house. Ahhhh, but not so fast...

August 21st we were celebrating Henry's birthday. We'd visited Mom that day and she seemed down a bit, but okay. At 6 p.m. we received a call that she was running a high fever and was not in her right mind. I spent the next 7 hours with her in the ER. She was admitted with a UTI. After careful examination it was determined she probably had cellulitis in her burn areas of her legs. On August 25th she had a debriding of her legs. A pic line was inserted on August 26th. On her 84th birthday, August 27th she was headed back to Bridgewater. Within fifteen minutes of her arrival a phone call from RMH informed them that she was a "C-diff" suspect (clostridium difficile) and should be in isolation. The move was traumatic for Mom. The test results were never provided so after her symptoms were alleviated she went back to her room. Once again we hoped she was on the road to recovery.

Bridgewater had nearly become her home. She was happy there, loved her caregivers and had settled in with the therapists to get better and come "home". Two of her great-grandsons were with us that week, so she was able to see them every day and was happily coming along.

Then... betrayal....

On Labor Day we went to see Mom. She didn't quite seem herself. She was moody and seemed tired. Henry left with a thought to her getting sick again. She had had some blood in her urine and had told the nurses.

3:00 a.m. the call came. High temp and delirious. Admitted with another UTI only this time.... this time it was VRE. Vancomycin-resistant enterococci. If you have never heard of it, don't worry. You will. It is the equal to AIDS. Perhaps worse than AIDS. AIDS has some political backing to keep the pariah attitude somewhat at bay. VRE has no political backing and creates fear in the heart of every "better" nursing home in the nation. Treating the VRE resulted in another case of C-diff and here we are. Bridgewater called to tell us there was "no room at the Inn". Neither was there "room" in any of the top three. From there it's down hill.

Meetings resulted with doctors, nurses, social workers. Learning of the chronic natures of these dis-eases. Learning that Mom's quality of life was quickly going out the window. Learning more than I ever wanted to know.

The end isn't here. Everything keeps going on and on and on. Mom's tired, we're tired... it's a never ending circle. Yesterday, when she was to be released to the nursing home of no one's choice a blood clot was discovered in her pic line. So she has a reprieve. Four more days in the hospital.

Through a glass darkly is becoming more and more a watch word for all of us. As people of strong faith we are now beginning to ask the "whys" and the answer is "through a glass darkly". Who knows? God knows. All the rest is just walking through the valley. Not stopping, not placing blame, not sleeping, not resting. Just walking. Walking through a sea of doctors, nurses, government bureaucracy and social workers. Walking.

I think I need new shoes.

God is Great, God is Good

And yes, while I thank Him for my food, that is not all,by far, that I thank Him for! Our latest "big" thanksgiving is two fold.

The husband has been planning his knee replacement and on June 28th when he went in for his pre-op for his July 28 surgical date. His EKG came back awry. Very awry. Awry enough that they scheduled him for an immediate echocardiagram for the next day. On June the 29th, even though he "passed" the echo, the cardiologist stated he'd "like" to have a stress test to be sure. Because we were leaving for Annual Conference the next day his surgical date was pushed back to August 9th. Henry and I were very upset about the date change.

There is so much about the Universe of God that we neither know nor comprehend.

Well, the stress test came and went and he passed just fine. The rest of the tests were done, chest x-ray, blood work, meeting with physical therapy and all the rest of that stuff and the August 9th date was confirmed. We asked about "cancellations" for July 28th.

God's timing is perfect. We, on the other hand, are not.

This past Wednesday... July 28th .... we had our Bible study at church ending at 11. From there Henry and I went McDonalds and had a salad and then went on to the Harrisonburg Rehabilitation Center to visit one of our nursing home folks before I had an allergy doctor appointment. It was about twelve-fifteen when we entered the home. As we visited with Sue and talked of this an that, the cell phone rang and it was my brother-in-law, Steve.

At the same time a woman named Teresa was on her regular mail route. The mail was light that day, so she was running an hour or so ahead of time. She pulled into my mother-in-laws drive, where we had moved her mailbox so she wouldn't have to cross the road. She put the mail in the box, put her car in gear to pull away when something in the breeze caught her eye.

Mom was on the ground, unconscious, barely breathing when Teresa found her and stops breathing while she is with her. Her fever exceeds 106 degrees. Her heart stops just after the squad gets there.

~~~

What timing. What perfection. A surgical procedure postponed. A woman is early in her regular rounds. A rescue squad comes just in time. Two "errors" converge to effect both families. The third timing effects all those involved.

~~~

Now mom isn't out of the woods yet, by any means. She is just today off the ventilator. She still cannot communicate and she may never. Her mental damage is unknown at this time. We don't know the future. But, God sure does. He proved that quite neatly. Had the EKG been fine and my husband been in the hospital having surgery he would have been miserable not being with his mother these last days. By being early, this woman allowed her children and mine to see their beloved Nanny for, perhaps, the last time.

This is no "cosmic joke" or "coincidence" ~ This is God's PERFECT TIMING. If all this isn't the greatest example of why NOT to WORRY, I don't know what is.

A week from tomorrow. Husband's surgery. I'm sure the timing will be perfect.

Forty Seconds

So much has happened in the last several months that it's actually hard to compose it all or even to process it all. The Advent season was a blur in that it was spent in preparation for one event or another ~ the Live Nativity to leaving for Haiti left very little time for much else. Leaving for Haiti on December 28th was cause for confusion. After packing several suitcases we learned that only two were allowed and no more could be purchased either. That left us short on OTC that we planned to take along for clinics. But, it seems God knew that already and while in the country several clinics were rained out. In fact, we left behind a number of suture kits and antibiotics and a plethora of other items to be used at "some future time". They were... in a rescue operation ... days later.

Bringing in 2010 in Haiti was wonderful. Two full days of worship and singing and celebration for God's blessings in 2009 and expected blessings in 2010. The Haitian people have nothing but they sure have hope and faith that makes me feel little in comparison. Though I had some kind of foreshadow with this trip, I was never more glad to have gone. Still, we realized how much God works and how much suffering occurs in that Country while God performs miracle after miracle. Ask me about them sometime. Everyone wants to hear about the trip, but few want to believe the things we see or witness or well.. you know. Anything out of the ordinary makes us a tad uncomfortable and if it's out of the realm of normal, well... God help us in our unbelief!

Coming back was uneventful. So uneventful as to be strange. Five hours without a breakdown in rain! No blocked roads... nothing to prevent us from making our exit flight on time. Ahhh.. one can look back and wonder at all that.

Driving into Port au Prince we were in a traffic jam and stopped right in front of the UN compound gate for several minutes. Two soldiers were bargaining with a Haitian to buy one of his watches. That scene has played out in my mind a hundred times since January 11. We also were stopped for a minute or two in front of a technical school. I saw it on the news a few hours later as rubble, only the sign standing. The airport was in better shape than we had ever seen it! American Airlines had a beautiful portion of the terminal.. new... with air conditioning and no loading on the tarmac. It was super. "was" is operative here. An eye witness told me yesterday he wouldn't dream of entering that terminal now... He stood on the tarmac for 14 hours to get a C130 back to US soil.

When we landed in Miami one of my first orders of business was to call Carol Ann. She's always gone with us on our trips and this year her doctor forbade her to go and when she said she "just might go anyway" Henry and I told her she couldn't go because we wouldn't let her defy her doctor. I wanted her to be a part of our trip, so called her as soon as we hit US soil. She was on her way to Winchester Medical Center. She had found her husband slumped over the woodpile a little while before that. It was 4:12 p.m. I remember looking at my watch.

Again, the flight was uneventful as we flew into Dulles and was met by our dear friend and driver, Walter. We were no time at all getting out of the airport and as soon as we cleared the area, I sent Carol a text, "update?" It was 11:20 p.m. I was not prepared for her return text. Townsend had died ten minutes before. Do you know how many times I have realized how horrible it would have been if Carol Ann had been with us on the trip? God knows the future in so many ways. Life can change in an instant. An instant... A blood vessel bursts....

We got into bed somewhere around 3 a.m. and by noon the next day we were on our way to West Virginia. When we got there Carol was sleeping so I didn't bother her. We just took seats in the living room and watched CNN like everyone else. There was a house full.

Around 5:10 my world stopped for a few moments. Here I was 27.5 hours away from being "there" to learn that my second home had been rocked, literally by a massive earthquake. How many times looking over those mountains from planes and buses and wondered about their formation? How many people did I love that lived just near that epicenter? How many people did I love that lived within 70 miles of it? And here I was, at the home of another loved one already in mourning. A 40 second earthquake. Forty seconds and a city is in ruins. Forty seconds and family is decimated.

It took two days to hear of the status of my family there. Two days of tears and wringing of hands and hundreds of phone calls (or so it seemed). Many called me to make sure we'd gotten home. Others called to see what we had heard and I called many to check and check and check. Emails flew like the wind and hourly texts were sent. I am thankful that all whom I personally knew live. Many of those they personally knew did not. One church fallen, another badly damaged. Homes destroyed.

My next order of business was to see who we could get out. It turned out that four of our family had grabbed passports as they left their collapsing home and we were able to fly them out of Santiago. They spent three weeks with us and have now gone north to a brother's home to try to be able to stay here. They have no place to go... a pregnant mother with two small children. The father will return to Haiti where he can find work (he cannot by law work here) and he will sleep in his truck that was undamaged. He will help where he can and provide for his family if he can. He will try. Others sleep under tarps or have gone to the mountains where safety is a bit more sure... for now.

But what of others. These lives changed in 40 seconds! Carol's life changed in seconds.... our lives can be taken in 40 seconds or less. It put a whole new perspective on life for me. In forty seconds I can be safely here, safely Home in eternity or suffering in eternity. Some of that scenario is still my choice.... the 4o seconds is not. 275,000 people had 40 seconds or less.

Choice... Townsend's choice was Jesus. Others in Haiti made the choice for Jesus also ~ but there were/are those that don't, won't or..... Forty seconds.

Achievements

Over these last weeks I've been thinking alot about the unemployment rate and how the "bad economy" is the base and cause of 6-10% unemployment rates (depending on where you live it may be quite higher).

So, I decided to "blog" about what I really think and what it means to these United States.

If you read my blog regularly, then you know my mother came to the U.S. at age 16, legally, from Northern Ireland. She came with a sixth grade european education, which means she could read well, write well and do her own taxes. She worked outside the home as a housekeeper for the CEO of Wawa Dairy in Wawa, Pennsylvania just outside Phily. When she and my dad came "home" to Virginia she was able to stay home, but worked every year at Christmas at JJ Newberry 5 and Dime. My daddy had about a third grade education. He could not read really well, but well enough to get by and worked for an oil heat and burner service. Dirty job, but it paid the bills and allowed Mom to stay home with me. Both my grandparents, born in the 1800s were literate. I don't know what grade they went to, but they could both read well and write well. My fathers sister finished high school and went on to work at the State Department in Washington and retired from there. My grandfather kept the books for the farm, so I guess he could do math as well. My brother quit school before graduation. I'm not sure why, as he was 13 years older than I, but he still became a Police Officer and was plenty literate. He retired from the local Sheriff's Department. So, in all ways the generations of my family were solid middle class successful people. Never out of work, never hungry, never on the welfare rolls. I could go on and on, but you get the idea... Even in the worst recessions our family and all those in our neighborhood kept their homes, kept their jobs, or quickly got another and never dreamed of accepting welfare. Even the poorest among us worked for a living doing something and could make enough to live.

Fast forward. I graduated from high school and finished two years of Community College. I am literate and relatively intelligent. Never had a problem getting a job, though I've not worked full time outside the home since 1993. Since then I've worked some part time, but by and large have been a SAM like my own mother was. Of our children only one does not have a college education, but even he went into the army for six years and came out with a great skill and he has a good job with the Federal Government. But, we can see the clouds gathering and it's not a pretty picture.

Until recently, in my generation and my fathers generation and my grandfathers generation if you wanted to work at the same place from age 18 - 65 you could. There was little chance of lay off if you kept your nose clean, showed up on time and did your work. The three generations of which I speak were at the height of the Industrialization of the United States. But, I saw in the late 90s that more and more American Companies were outsourcing their customer service positions out of the country. In the mid-90's General Electric outsourced some of their incandescent lighting manufacturing to Hungary because it was cheaper to ship all the raw materials there, manufacture there and ship them back here for sale. The writing was on the wall then! Jobs were being outsourced for a variety of reasons, (which are a whole 'nother blog in themselves) and the government was supporting this export of jobs from AMERICAN companies.

What we are suffering today is the end result of this. Our oldest daughter worked for 12 years in an industry that is still very profitable in our current economic situation. She even worked at home, so there was no office overhead for the company. She did her work well, she met the goals, had a college education. She was the "perfect candidate" to keep her job... except she lived here. Her job was outsourced to another country even though the corporate headquarters are still here in the U.S. She's not been able to find a job in the professional sector where she was. Instead she is in the retail industry.. working nights and weekends at the local mall trying to keep her home.

A Ford dealership went under in the same place. Two women lost their long standing jobs. Both women in the late 50s. No chance of EVER finding professional, secretarial work in this economy. One is working in a drug store and one is babysitting. During a time in their lives when they should be winding down and not worrying about tomorrow, here they are without hope. The expertise of their long experience has no value in the current workplace. The few jobs are given out to the youngest, college educated women who cost less to "keep".

What about the young man or woman who doesn't go to college? Well, in the last generation he/she could go to work at the ground level and work their way up based on their experience, intelligence and the like. Or they could work the "widget" line until retirement. There was a job for anyone who was willing to work and learn the line. Manufacturing jobs were good jobs for those hard workers willing to work. WERE because those manufacturing jobs aren't here anymore. They are in China, Japan, Germany and Russia. In fact, China wants to be able to claim the #1 position by 2020. At our current rate, this will be no problem. None. It is a fact that the U.S. still holds the top position for manufacturing because of companies like Philip Morris, Kellogg's, oil production companies and the corn industry, but China is quickly taking us over and the rest are not far behind.

Somehow we must, as a nation, redirect our efforts in job development. Every country must provide jobs to all sectors of its society. Some workers will never be totally literate. Some workers will never obtain a college education. Some workers will be older than 35. With Social Security in the mess it's in, some workers will need to be near 70 before they can even think of retiring if they can retire at all! Somehow we must provide good, honest jobs of integrity for these men and women of America. We must not destroy them, by providing them with the idea of entitlement and being on the welfare rolls! We must raise the self esteem of the individual as a productive member of society. If we don't, we can be sure no other country will and we can be doubly sure that our status as a nation will quickly die if we don't do something!

Happy trails....

Harvest

There is a special sense of sadness at what the world has done to children and to us. We are so self absorbed to where nothing matters save ourselves and the feelings of others are temporary shrugs as we tramp along our way. We live in a plastic world where everything is throwaway and all are expendable, save a very close few. We live in a world of chosen sedentary life where the video reigns supreme and the walk is but a chore.

There is a special sense of sadness to see a child that never has felt the dirt and or picked what grows in it; has never seen an animal outside a zoo; has never milked a cow or a goat or stepped in the residue.

There is a special sense of joy at watching a little child grow in excitement as they touch a chicken and gather an egg.

There is a special sense of joy at watching a little child entice a little feral cat to come a little closer for some fresh cream; or stand in awe of a llama as it bends to eat some grain or call a goat by name as though they were a friend..

There is a special sense of joy when a child asks to go to the garden and bites into a fresh vine ripened tomato and says, "yes! I love tomatoes". There is a special joy when a child notices peppers growing on the vine and though he doesn't like them wants them to be in his hands and pockets.

Today there was joy at the simplicity of life for a few stark moments. Then.... only then... sadly, it was back to Wii and the harvest of plastic minds.

There is a special

Thinking

Our church is in a renewal initiative called "Springs of Living Water". It's somewhat based on Richard Foster's "Celebration of Disciplines". This month we are concentrating on Simplicity. Now, simplicity has been a "by word" of sorts among "us" Brethren, but yet we are far from simple living any more. Here are some thoughts on it from my perspective.

Living simply for me engages the senses. The closer I am to the earth, then the simpler things seem to be. I mean, I enjoy home cooked food and food that is grown in a home-based garden or meat that is fed and cared for naturally and freely in my own fields; food that is canned in my own kitchen. What a simple joy it is to know that we and God created the food on our tables. Oh, if we could only provide it all!

Our yard is filled with chickens and guineas. It's not unusual to see this farm-girl waving her apron while running out front to chase the guineas away from Route 11. One of our girls already got slaughtered by a speeding car or truck. Anyway, today our oldest goat, Oreo, escaped her enclosure. Henry separated the girls recently awaiting kidding time. We were afraid that Oreo, in her croney state, would kill new kids, since she didn't get to have any this year. (We decided to retire her.) About 10 a.m. we received a call from our neighbor to let us know that she was happily grazing his yard. When she saw me coming up the fence line she hitched her giddyap and came to me. She is now in a smaller prison yard for a few weeks until all the kids are here and able to run fast enough to escape her.

Anyway, continuing with simplicity. Simplicity is also the smells of the outside. I find the smell of freshly wind dried sheets to be a balm for sleep. While I am not fond of ironing, I still like hanging my clothes out, most of the time.

Simplicity is also a sense of practicality. Around the farm you'll find me in long, full dresses and aprons. They are practical by being cool in the summer and warm in the winter as well as providing a huge area to carry veges or herbs from the garden or berries from the patch or, as mentioned before, chasing wayward flocks.

But simplicity is also about being thoughtful of others. We could, if we wanted, live alot "bigger" than we do. We could drive newer cars, eat better brands, buy bigger and better stuff. But, if we did that, then we couldn't help those less fortunate than we are as much as we do. Somehow, simplicity seems right when there are those hungry, sick, naked or homeless in other places. I should help them and I couldn't do that if I lived large.

Yet, there are ways we don't live simply, as well. I am a coffee snob. I don't care for pre-ground coffee, even though, currently we are drinking it. I will use every opportunity to buy beans when I find them easily. I also still buy too much stuff. I love thrift stores and books and it's a weakness, I admit. I expect I could save hundreds of dollars a year if I quit buying clothes at thrift stores and books online and elsewhere. I also have a new hobby and it's pretty costly. We won't talk about that at the moment, but take my word for it, it isn't cheap. I also am a freak about Tupperware. I love their storage possibilities and buy too much of it. These are areas I want to work on ~ to eliminate further temptations. I am currently dieting, so am dropping clothing sizes every few months. My goal is to get rid of two pieces for every piece of clothing I buy. So far it's a failed goal, but at least I'm thinking in that direction. I've developed some new cleaning habits and techniques that are working well for me at present. That is helpful all around, as I'm tending to de-clutter a little more often. So, I'm working on doing better at simplicity and wastefulness. I still have a long way to go, but the spirit is willing.

So, in a nutshell, we are trying live more simply. There is a far road ahead, but we are, in our estimation, further along than most. But, time will tell.

'Tis the gift to be simple,
'tis the gift to be free,
'tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
It will be in the valley of love and delight.

Refrain:

When true simplicity is gained,
To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed.
To turn, turn will be our delight,
'Til by turning, turning we come round right

'Tis the gift to be loved and that love to return,
'Tis the gift to be taught and a richer gift to learn,
And when we expect of others what we try to live each day,
Then we'll all live together and we'll all learn to say,

Refrain:

'Tis the gift to have friends and a true friend to be,
'Tis the gift to think of others not to only think of "me",
And when we hear what others really think and really feel,
Then we'll all live together with a love that is real.

This 'n That

I'm trying to do better with keeping up with the blog. (Truly, Beth, I am trying.) It's been an interesting spring. Colder than normal, in my opinion. The husband says we're in a drought, but it's scheduled to rain for the next three days. We'll see this summer, I guess. He's usually right about the weather.

We left for Indiana on the District Disaster bus on Sunday morning, March 29th. There were 14 of us. A decidedly diverse group. By the following Saturday, April 4 we were ready to come home after a very fulfilling week. The house where we stayed was very nice. Us girls were able to sleep on bottom bunks. No one had to climb up :) However, our bathroom had to be shared with one man, which was a problem of sorts. But, it was manageable. Our work team consisted of husband, Michael, Ginger, Diane, Pam, Mary Sue and myself. We worked with a couple who had had 4' of water in their front enclosed porch and back laundry room. Looking at the layout, it won't be the last time, as their house sits lower than the street. We layed laminate flooring in the living room and gutted the laundry room as well as working some on the porch. We scrubbed the siding to get the mold off and worked on getting the fungus off the overhangs. I learned to love the cleaner (Simple Green) we were using and bought some as soon as I got home. The couple had some medical issues ~ the wife with an abscessed tooth and the husb. having just gotten out of the hospital with gut problems. They did ask us to pray for them and that encircling of the couple was a highlight. Another highlight was the coordinators. Couldn't help but love them, as they were kind and helpful. The last day was a little edgy, but it was only for a short time. The non-Brethren help was marvelous! Poppa Doty and Mr. Sprinkle were highlights of our trip. On Saturday it was an honor to "award" Mr. Sprinkle with a Brethren Disaster Relief hat. He cried and it was hard not to do the same. I told him since that Methodist Church didn't have a baptismal I could only make him an honorary Brethren :) That seemed to tickle him.

So we headed home. Of course the next week was Holy Week and that included a wonderful Love Feast on Maundy Thursday. What a joy and delight. Brother Stan Shifflett made us a stunning foot tub. He made two, one of which will go to the Disaster Relief Auction. The Lord has blessed him with so much talent. What great love!!!

This week the hubby is busy trying to get the last bit of stuff on the Haiti bus and get it shipped out of here. It's almost filled to the brim. What fun! We want to surround it in prayer to arrive safely and be "cheap" to get out of customs.

Spring is truly here. The potatoes are in the ground waiting to grow and we're waiting for the new "kids" to arrive probably the first week of May. The girls are already starting to show sights of "motherhood" and I can't wait to see the little ones. That's always a highlight of spring.

I'll be sure and post pictures. Until then... Happy Spring everyone!!!