Who's Lost?

I know, I know... getting wordy in my old age, but when I have a "blog" on the brain.. well... better write it while I can.

Last night I watched "God Grew Tired of Us". In light of our recent visit from the Lead Team for our Sudan Initiative in the COB, it was an informative and disturbing movie. Some of the reasons I have for saying "disturbing" will surprise you, most of them will not.

I love debates. My younger daughter in law will attest to her disdain for the debates that ensue when they come home. Much of the educational time spent with my boys was in debate. I would like to believe those debates taught them how to think independently. Thereby being well equipped to face realities head on and find solutions not common to others. This blog may bring about some debate. I hope not, but it may.

This movie. In case you do not know, it is about the "lost boys" of South Sudan. A war that led tens of thousands of Christian and animist children to walk a thousand miles to Ethiopia and then another thousand to Kenya in search of a safe haven. Some spent fifteen years in refugee camps in Kenya. Many starved and their graves were dug by their comrades.. children aged ten or so. It is a sobering fact. I am ashamed that my government allowed this to happen. The murderers were their northern neighbors.. Arab. I'll let you figure out their religion. These children left their homes after their parents and other relations were massacred or otherwise exiled and after a government edict that all south Sudanese male children were to be executed. Again, I am ashamed and horrified that this kind of nightmare was perpetrated upon children and we did little or nothing. I could continue on a rant on how the U.S. has a history of this sort of thing unless it pertains to "our" wealth, but I won't... at least not right now. Anyway, some of these boys were taken from Kenya and brought to 24 of our States to live. The ones featured on this movie were in Syracuse, NY and Pittsburgh, PA. Cities. Why they brought these boys whose parents had owned farms, to cities, I do not know, but they were taken to cities. The movie goes on to show how some adjusted, at least one had a mental breakdown and others didn't adjust quite so well. Some found their parents alive, years later and others did not. I cannot imagine their suffering. Can't begin to fathom it. BUT..

There was another telling tale in this. Each of the boys that did relatively well, worked at least two jobs to "pay back the government" and send money back to Sudan and "live". If you can call working on those hours "living" . They also went to College. How they paid for that I am not sure, but I assume there were lots of grants. (Which is fine with me.) Living in Sudan they stayed in groups for safety and for the familiarity of it. Here their "groups" were seen as "gang-like" and people reported them to the authorities. So, they were advised to go in pairs or alone. They didn't understand that. They also didn't understand why people were so unfriendly. At one point they showed them in a grocery store and some guy was staring a hole through them. It was embarrassing.

At Christmas time they asked the "meaning" of the Christmas tree and Santa Claus. They asked, "is this in the Bible"? At one point a single boy said, "no one can answer my questions". Ain't that pitiful? Can we really explain our silly Christmas traditions? Now, I can explain the traditions surrounding our Christmas', but it's true... they are NOT in the Bible. Maybe we should re-think what we know of our own traditions. If they have a real meaning behind them.. then fine. If they don't, maybe we ought to revisit them. We should at least be able to explain them with some sense of intelligence.

Okay, onward. I guess what really struck a chord, other than my sorrow for them and anger toward their northern countrymen, not to mention my own government, was a comment that could easily be missed. One young man wondered how families in this country had any time together when they work so much. "Where is their family time", he asked? In Sudan, these boys developed family relationships among themselves, yearned for their families lost and cannot understand why we have so little time to be together. In light of our family, it got me to thinking.

The Fair Labor Standards Act was passed in 1938. It was then the term "9 to 5" became synonymous with "full time" work. Fast forward almost six decades and see what you get. Most researchers would argue that the 40 hour work week is nearly as obsolete as most of the factory jobs to which it was originally applied. According to a recent survey by Expedia.com, 63 percent of Americans work more than 40 hours a week, with some 40 % exceeding the 50-hour a week mark. More than $21 billion dollars in vacation time goes unused annually (and back to employers!), as we spend 2.5 more weeks—and three months more—at work than do our Japanese and western European counterparts, respectively. U.S. resorts are filled with Europeans because the US workers can't take the time off. What is wrong with this picture?

In the early years of my working outside the home I worked 9-5 in an office job and was paid for my lunch. Later, it was 8-5 and my lunch was "on me", whether at my desk or on the street, made no difference. Now, it's 7-7, unpaid breaks and lunches are built in. In the early years, Thanksgiving Friday was a paid day off. When Christmas fell on Tuesday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday, you could count on an extra paid holiday in there. Easter? Good Friday was a day off, as was often Easter Monday. These extra days gave families the opportunity to visit far away family members ~ their in-laws AND out-laws. Yes, retail folks often had to work, but factories and offices were closed... C-L-O-S-E-D, closed. It was family time. Remember F-A-M-I-L-Y? Mom, Dad, Children, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles? Only ones that get those days now, are government workers.

In a time where we "say" we want to make families more valuable; in the days of the "Family Leave Act"... (time off withOUT pay... who can do that?) ~ we demote the family in favor of the factory ~ (ie the office). Slave to the desk. Think I'm nuts? We have two sons and two daughters. Our sons live 2 hours east, our daughters live five hours south. Know the last Thanksgiving or Christmas we all had together? 2003. Since then our daughters have not had a post-Thanksgiving Friday off from work, nor a full Christmas Eve or day after Christmas off. Our daughter-in-law has to work a half a day on Christmas Eve and then must be back to work on the 26th. So, this year... I have NO children at home on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. As a compromise we will drive to my mother in laws home and meet up for a couple of hours with the boys. But, the girls? I'm mailing their gifts tomorrow. We are thinking about going to see the girls for the New Year, but, even New Year's Eve they have to work, having the 1st off and, then... everyone is back to work. So, we've not totally decided on the travel. It's not just about us. Everyone who is married has two sets of family and often four or more, if the families are blended. But we can get together on vacation, right? Wrong. When you add in immediate, (ie mom, dad, children), family vacations and one or two days here and there for other things, there's no time to spend a "week" at home with Mom and Dad ~ ANY Mom and Dad. Most of the children have two weeks or less. Our "elder" daughter in law, who now has summers off, spends a few days with us in the summer. Our daughters manage one or two long weekends each year, when we try to all together. (Note on "try", because you have to have "permission" to take your vacation these days.) No wonder so many old folks are truly "alone". There's no time. The Master wants it all. I read an ad in yesterday's paper for a "professional position" which was nothing more than a glorified secretary. She had to work Monday through Friday, some weekends and be "on call by phone" 24/7, plus she had to have a Bachelor's degree in nursing. What insane person nurse would apply for that? Another secretarial job required you to be "bi-lingual" and available most weekends. Sounds like we need a "new and improved" Fair Labor Standards Act that looks at families.

The Lost Boys of Southern Sudan want to bring their families to the United States to be with them. To be safe. I'm here praying that the Hardenbrooks and people like them in the Sudan Initiative, can bring a real peace for those Christian brothers and sisters in South Sudan, so they can go home. They know what family really is. We've forgotten.